Distant brothers try to sue the caregiver sister. How do I get this to end?

That is a very interesting question. Unfortunately it is at its most interesting in the novel Bleak House, which I don't recommend you read right now. I wish I could say that three years is a long time in the context; all I can do is send you huge sympathy and say three years is far too long for this nonsensical spite to have carried on.

So, lawyers reading: what kind of injunction is available to this lady to force her brothers to cease and desist from harassing her with their vexatious and manifestly baseless claims? How would you go about putting yourselves out of a job?

Turn the tables on the brothers and countersue, for at least harassment, possibly slander and/or libel, depending on whether they made public verbal or written accusations or both. The written accusations in the complaints would at least be libelous.

Slander addresses verbal accusations; libel is written (generally - the definitions are more precise),

Ask the attorney(s) who defended you, if the suits have not yet been dismissed, about the possibility of countersuing. You will have to pay attorney fees, but at least you'll be taking the offensive and putting the brothers on the defensive. Fight back!

As CM raises that issue, ask also about the possibility of getting a TRO to prevent further defamation activities. You may not be able to stop the suit, but you'll be making a stand by countersuing, and if you get a restraining order, you'll at least be able to stop some of the defamatory actions as well as show them you're not going to acquiesce to their harassment.

Depending on how the order is written and specific prohibitions, a TRO could act as a gag order, and could even extend to banks, doctors and others with whom you had contact while caring for your mother.

Also ask the attorneys about including counts for frivolous actions, since a judge said the suit was frivolous. Years ago when I worked in litigation, local court rules were amended to address frivolous actions.

If you do countersue, be sure that your "prayer" (as it was described years ago and may still be), includes a request for monetary compensation for the ill effects you've suffered. Perhaps if they're hit with a countersuit that requests a few hundred thousand dollars for the emotional pain, distress and other effects you've suffered, then they'll reconsider their actions.

If your attorneys are too gracious to handle a countersuit, check with lawyers who have a reputation for being aggressive. You can find litigation lawyers through your local bar association, then check their websites to see what their practice areas are. Sometimes you can get a feel for their attitudes by what they write about their practices and their successes.


You wrote that you blocked contact; do you have a PPO against them? You wrote also that they didn't pay their attorneys, if I understand correctly. Are those attorneys undertaking collection action against the brothers? if the attorneys are successful in getting judgments, that will affect the brothers' credit rating.

You also wrote that the home was split, and that the 2012 taxes are delinquent. Is the home sold, and if not, what's the status of the property taxes on that? As to the delinquent 2012 income taxes, the failure of the successor executor (personal representative)to timely address them is a reflection of his inability to handle financial matters. Raise that in your countersuit.

Good luck.

Should have written "home was split, 4 ways"....

There has definitely been libel and slander. I have a letter they sent to my parent's neighbor, stating I was "emotionally unstable" and sent them a key to the house telling them they could enter it anytime. Those neighbors called me immediately and gave me the letter and key. They then made up an email address and sent an email to my husband attaching an article about a woman on drugs. The subject line read, "Get Mary help". Then one had junk mail in his, his wife's and kids names sent to my address..I had to put in a change of address at the post office. Oh, there's more. That's just a few. I reported one that worked for the Government and he lost his job.
The lawyers they have dealt with don't want to deal with them anymore. One went to the court and asked to be removed. The brothers never paid but unfortunately the lawyers would rather take a loss of pay then to deal with them.
The house was sold after the brothers held out for a year, luckily the buyer waited it out. They first claimed they didn't know it was for sale..the for sale sign was on the house when they showed up with a Budget truck and took everything in the house. Then they said they didn't agree to a realtor,they wanted me to sell it, so they wanted me to pay the realtor fees. They wouldn't pay any bills on the house, I was doing it all, finally after 3 months I told them I paid my 1/4, now it's their turn since they weren't signing off.(And I got a great price!) They finally signed the paperwork a year later-I think it was affecting FASFA for one of their kids going to college.
Such a mess. I am so tired of it. I am a very patient person, but this is getting to me now. I had a hard time mourning my father's death because I had to be strong for my mom. Now I want closure for my mom's death but it's hard to do when they continually attack me. If there is a lawyer out there that wants to step in and help, please do. I'm in a small town, not many choices. I do like my lawyer though, just wish he would get in attack mode.

The one that worked for the government was using government computers to access all my and my parent's personal information. The email accusing me of doing drugs was traced back to his place of work.

""The one that worked for the government was using government computers to access all my and my parent's personal information. The email accusing me of doing drugs was traced back to his place of work."""
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAAAA
good riddance to bad rubbish.

Oh, and sadly there probably is not an end to it.
I don't know why the judge did not completely toss it out of court.
What is that... with or without prejudice? It it gets tossed out one way, the bas**rds can't refile or something. At least I think that is how it works.

In my opinion, from what you've shared here, they've got nothing. I see that evidenced by their being on their third lawyer. It'll end very soon -- when they run out of money. Sounds like they're probably close.

Remember. It's not up to you that you did nothing wrong. It's up to them to prove that you did.

No good deed goes unpunished.

and when they run out of money they'll get welfare lawyers.

A lawsuit dismissed without prejudice can be refiled. A lawsuit dismissed with prejudice cannot be refiled.

Ohforgodssake don't counterclaim! - they would love it, and it'll drag on for decades. Just keep batting them away, as you have been, quite rightly. The key thing is for it not to be interesting or exciting or for them ever to feel they're getting anywhere. Eventually they will run out of legal avenues and hopeful shysters. It would be wonderful if you could get the Supreme Court to say "there is no basis to any claim against your sister so GO AWAY and never darken a court door again" but I'm not aware of any mechanism available for you to do that. If they defame you out of court you could tell your lawyer to earn his money and warn them off doing that, but beware of adding fuel to the flames (especially if there is no actual defamation on account of their having no credibility).

At the end of Bleak House, several people are dead or mad, the entire estate has gone in costs, and the lawyers in Chancery are laughing their heads off. The moral of the story is: don't go to Law.

But I like the sound of your lawyer. I like lawyers who don't get excited and create (expensive) work for themselves.

I agree don't countersue. Other than that I have no answers.

Do not trade off the car. Drive it until it has 250000 miles on it and the engine is just about to blow. Then leave it in the worst one's front yard, leaking oil and smoking, tires flat, with a signed title and a bag of dog turds in the front seat.

Realistically, you sound like a nice person that would never do that...but I hope I made you laugh for a second....! Hang in there and remember that no good deed goes unpunished!

CM and Brandywine, I'm curious...if you don't mind explaining, why would you advise not to countersue?

Obviously I'm not experienced in litigation throughout the US, but in Michigan, suits of the nature in question don't drag on for years. Specific milestones are established to keep the suits running through the dockets. Complex litigation and class action suits are more likely to be long and protracted.

I'm not experienced in US litigation at all! (unless you count close following of John Grisham, who is a terrific but lazy writer - but I digress…) - but what strikes me is that the brothers' behaviour has nothing to do with law - their claim has already been shown to have no basis - and everything to do with picking a fight. The only way not to prolong the fight is not to join in. And call me cynical, but no matter how streamlined the courts aim to be there is no legal system that cannot be subverted to achieve a kind of perpetual motion… Just don't start. It all costs good money.

Lawyers who works for the poor ('welfare lawyer ') have no problem dragging things out. Fave sister's ex boyfriend went to one to fight for custody of the their kids. Sis lawyer charged hundreds of dollars an hour. Due to the mounting legal fees, she didn't fight as hard as she could because it would just drag it on.

Mincemeat, you did make me laugh. Thank you to others who have responded. The comment, " that the brothers' behavior has nothing to do with law - their claim has already been shown to have no basis - and everything to do with picking a fight. The only way not to prolong the fight is not to join in", has been my gut reaction since this started. They just continue to harass. I just have to let it go and keep moving forward I guess. I try not to give them any satisfaction in knowing they are very hurtful. I was their only sister and always gave to them without expecting in return. When I look back, I did give and got nothing back, but I don't care. My parents taught me to be the bigger person even if you have to swallow your pride. I do not let people bully me though. I walk away!
Thank you everyone!!!

Well. this was suppose to end 12/31/15. I did the Deposition last February and proved that I did nothing wrong or steal any money. I had documentation to show it. Today, I was served papers by the Sheriff..again..this time them stating they are going to sue me. My Lawyer just said they have no proof of anything and decided to just prolong it again, and this was the only way they could continue. They waited to serve me these papers 3 days before Christmas. What family does that? I just need to vent. They are real losers in my book. My parents would be embarrassed! So more money to defend myself, and more prayers that I can keep a positive attitude. I just think of how miserable and unhappy they must be to do this to me continually for almost 4 years now. Time for a new Lawyer? BTW, my lawyer was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer a few months ago. I may have to start over. Im not feeling that Christmas Spirit at this moment.

The saga continues. My Lawyer died late March and I have had to get another attorney. I did ask for a jury when the court date comes up, sometime in January 2017. I figured a jury will end this frivolous lawsuit. My attorney also counter sued for the money I have spent defending myself. I have no idea what their claims are now. The audit they had done proved that all money was accounted for, and I stole nothing. Sometimes I feel like this is two small town attorneys filling their pockets.

I"m in need of encouragement and advice if you have any.

I just came across your post, and my heart is heavy for all that you have gone thru. I do hope that all turned out well for you. If it's not over, please know that someone cares.

We had court 1/24/16. Still no verdict. My attorney says they have nothing but it's up to the judge. I've gained about 30 lbs over the stress of this, more stressful than caring for my parents. Looking back, I would do everything the same, just as my parents asked. Those three brothers have real issues, mostly guilt for their lack of involvement, and jealousy of me and my family that were so close to my parents.
I've had peopl praying for a positive outcome and I pray daily that God reminds me to trust and give it all to Him.

Court was 1/24/2017 not 2016

My heart goes out to you as well. I just came upon this too.

It hit home for me because I have 3 older brothers, one who died during the course of caring for my mom (& he was the only caring sensible one), and 2 who gave me nothing but grief...along with their wives, their grown sons, and even an ex-wife!!! I felt so alone, heartbroken, angry, frustrated, disillusioned, .... you name it,...I felt it.
My mom is now in AL but I'm still a wreck after all the stress and the family division is still active. 😞
Take care of yourself. They sure won't! !!

Are you at the point of a decision? As my heart is heavy for you, I see this as a possibility in my future. I've said so many times that I never could have guessed that my siblings and I would be where we are at this point in our lives. God said to "honor your parents." Period ...not if you're not busy or don't have much money or just don't want to. It's such a hard job that most of us are so unprepared for, and it leaves little time to deal with our own emotions as Mom/Dad decline. I'm walking thru it a day at a time, in God's grace.

No decision yet. The Iowa court systems are very behind from what I have been told.
As for those caring for their parent, keep a daily journal. Then you have proof. I had that!

Oh, I just came online to see if you had responded. What perfect timing! I will continue in prayer for you as you wait. Know that you're not alone now :)

Talkey, honoring your parents, assuming you are not a minor child, simply obliges you to help them out if they become destitute - it does not require you to maintain a "family" relationship with them, or to obey them, etc. Sometimes, where there is abuse, children will need to keep a distance.

Oh, Rovana, I agree in part. But I also believe that I should do my part to see that Dad is taken care of, even if I'm not providing the care, and because he can't. But --that's for me, and I certainly don't feel compelled to obey.

Talkey
Thank you. I will pray for you as well. I understood your comments in the way you intended. I will post as soon as I hear a decision.