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Me Zilch. Too Late for a Caregiver Contract? I believe I've seen this before, but could not find it. My eldest brother is POA and will be putting in $300.00 monthly, as well as middle brother, into Dad's account next month due to running out of the monies set aside for his and Mom's latter days. I've been caregiver since 10/2010, Mom passed 02/2014 and she was very alert, but Dad has dementia. He knows everyone, but short term memory is bad. He also has to take Citalopram for his anger when he 'dreams' I have stolen from. Every year for 3 years he would really believe he saw and heard me say I was stealing from him, different stories. Man he had horrible anger. He actually saw these things and said I said something and it was real to him. First time, easy to prove to him, second HARD, but De. recommended 'citalopram' and 2 1/2 weeks, normal. This last time was bad, but changed med and it took almost 2 months, that was rough. O K, back on subject. If I can't convince my brother to just help without reimbursement, I thought I would present a contract. My Mother's only surviving sister, who talked with each other daily, told me to tell him I want back pay. She and Mom knew what I was sacrificing, but brothers think I should be paying rent not living and eating free. I don't want for them to put him in a home just to get back at me. The sell of Dad's house is the only inheritance and both brothers are well to do. I've lost $150.00 a month from Social Security for not working these past 6 years, all I get is $904. I don't want for them to be like the 'Twisted Sisters' of another CG. Thanks for reading my sob story, but I need help. Don't know what to do.

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I have nothing against attorneys, but many caretakers are not in a position to pay for their expertise. A basic Miller's Trust runs a minimum of $2,500 in the Houston, Texas area. I would T suggest you contact your local Area Agency on Aging and Independence for help. They can direct you to state resources that will evaluate you and your Dad's situation and provide referrals and stay in home help. Your state may also have a department of disabilities that can direct you to services and resources. Also, your Dad's doctor may have contact numbers for you to get assistance for his condition. It sounds like you both need some solutions if you are to live together amicably.
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Bill the Estate. As Was understanding and known you were caregiving. And expected reimburse.ent when caregiving ceased. Now might have originally death. But you expected reimbursement through as beneficiary from caregiving Of estate Include Soc. Sec. Pay in Soc Sec. for you also. You can backtrack on Income Yax three yrs and same on Soc.Sec. pay in.
BTW Any monies you or your brother contribute to father care will be considered income paid to him per medicaid/DCF. Even if a loan. A loan is considered by them as income even Amscot.
Run don't walk to lawyer
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Also you should be given vacation time [I bet they take their's but you don't get any relief] - a paid weekend a month at least
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Your brothers have brass balls to ask for re-imbursement for doing small things compared to your many years of care-taking - it is long past that the daughter gave up everything & took less inheritance - STAND YOUR GROUND - sounds like they want to be paid but not pay you nor acknowledge your time/effort - how much do they charge to mail a letter? - quite frankly what you say makes me sick to see the lop sidedness
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ubetiam: The anger issues expressed by your parent are EXTREMELY COMMON with elders due to medications and a whole host of other things. Who can blame the elder, really? Aging is not at all a fun process...it is often sometimes painful and they long for the days of their youth. Many are in such chronic pain, poor souls! Have the patience of Job and you will get through the caregiving process. How do I know? Because I moved 400 miles away to take care of my late mother and just when it feels like you're about to loose your mind, you rally! She actually deceased while my brother and I were there and WE DIDN'T LIVE THERE. I live 400 miles away and my brother lives on the other side of the country.
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ubetiam: MANY LOGICAL-THINKING PROFESSIONAL PERSONS WILL TELL YOU TO NEVER USE YOUR OWN MONEY FOR YOUR PARENT'S CARE. They should file for Medicaid. Your post is very difficult to discern what you are trying to get across-I agree with others who have said the same thing. The reasoning behind not using your money for your parent's care=you will need it for your OWN elder care. Yes, reverse mortgage is a great option. However, bear in mind that when your parent deceases, you will have to pay back the mortgage. Also, as I prepared it for my late mother, bear in mind that it is a lengthy, often-difficult, multi-part application.
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CTTN had the same questions I did. I had a hard time following what you were asking. I don't think a family caregiver should be paying rent and board if he/she is providing free caregiving. That would be crazy. If your brothers are putting in $300 a month for living, then yes, I believe they are entitled to reimburse themselves from the estate. I also believe it would be fair to put a value for your services. If they reimburse themselves, it seems like you should also be reimbursed for your contribution. Alas, caregiving is often seen as a gift done out of love, instead of countable contribution. Maybe you could find a way to put a number on it and get your brothers to agree.
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My best advice is to sell the house, use the money to pay for your Dad's care and you find your own apt. and get a job. You already have caregiver skills, unless you are trained in something else. Your dad will die of dementia or something else, and fighting with your brothers over money and care will only hurt you. It sounds by your writing that you need some counseling and/or respite care. Good luck!
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Your brothers are currently putting in $300 each/month for your father's expenses? What kind of help will they be doing that they will be getting reimbursement for?

How much is your father's house worth? Are the three of you equal heirs? Are your brothers going to be expecting reimbursement for the $300 each/month they are already putting in?

And what happens when your father inevitably becomes more difficult to manage?
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It is never too late for a contract.
I would not go back and ask for payment from the past year, 2 years...
I think that there are other ways to help.
Is either your father or mother a veteran? If so there are programs that could help pay for caregivers. And you could be a paid caregiver through the programs. Senior Services might help they may know of state or federal programs that might help to pay for supplies, caregivers or possibly Adult Day Care.
Medicare does pay for some supplies, Medicaid might also help if they qualify.
(In any case keep all receipts as medical is tax deductible)

In my opinion Reverse Mortgage would probably be a last resort, it can get complicated and if anyone else is living in the house that can be problematic if you have to leave once the person that has signed for the reverse mortgage has passed away. If this is a route you want to look into get a good lawyer to check contract and all the details.

Getting back to you...If you do get paid as a caregiver fill out the correct forms, pay into Social Security. Make sure that your parents insurance will cover caregivers for injuries. The last thing you need to happen is that you injure yourself and 10, 15, 20 years down the road you will need help yourself due to an injury that occurred while helping Mom and Dad.
You also might want to check Hospice, find out if they either or or both qualify for Hospice. With Hospice you will have CNA's that will help you several times a week, a nurse that will check medications, order them and you will get the equipment that you need to help care for them.
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reverse mortgage
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See an attorney and draw up a fair contract, where you get hours paid and a slight deduction for room and board. Look up the "domestic bill of rights" for your state. Just ask for what is fair and just, because if Dad goes in a nursing home, there will be nothing to inherit.
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