I am in medical field, a medical provider. He is neglecting her, exploiting her, dumped her on two unprofessional untrained women who boss me around with his consent & encouragement; one assaulted me!
I agree with Cali’s first response. File for guardianship and do so immediately.
8 days to be seen for stroke symptoms is unacceptable. Aids hitting you is unacceptable. Your brother’s alienation and neglect of your mother is unacceptable.
Well, you called APS and that didn't work. Magistrate is involved and that didn't work. And it sounds as though you have sufficiently beaten down any logical suggestions. When finally you said that your Mother likes her caregivers because they "let her do anything", I think we have the answer we need. Your mother is in the care of your brother to whom she gave POA. She is happy enough with her caregivers, whatever your judgement of them is. They let her do what she wants? Good for her! For an elder to be torn between children is a terrible thing. Here they are in a fragile state with an absolute was going on. I can't imagine anything more distressing. How about a try at this? A letter to your brother saying "I have had a change of heart; this must be awful for Mom. How about I offer you my help. I can do respite care for Mom. I can do shopping. I make a great casserole. Can I cook for her a few nights a week? Do you need help getting Mom to appointments? Any supplies I can get sent in for you? I would love to visit, even if a monitored visit, and I promise to make it happy and pleasant for Mom and all involved. I won't interfere with the care you have set up. I hope we can mend our relationship." At the very least that might just shock him to death. Here's the thing, and I don't know you, or your situation, so honestly I cannot judge it. But your Mom, as things stand, is being torn in two by her kids; that sort of thing is just a red flag for me as I was a nurse and there were times I saw kids literally arguing over the helpless body of their parents. It was dreadful. Please find another way, for the sake of the love you bear your Mom.
in her own home with your brother in her own home not with your brother, but with 2 x live in aides in her own home alone, with aides visiting her in your brother's home somewhere else?
Neither APS nor the judge - if this gets as far as an application for guardianship - will be interested in getting between you and your brother. Their focus will solely be on your mother's welfare, and they will be guided by what they can learn of your mother's own wishes and preferences.
Among many other factors, though, they will want to uphold your mother's right to a relationship with all of her children. If your brother prevents you from communicating with her, or if in future you were to prevent him from seeing her, that would be a demerit from the court's point of view and they would have the power to give guardianship to somebody else altogether.
She lives in her own house by herself except for two sitters; had only PM sitter; since stroke first sitter brought in one of her daughter’s buddies. No cameras, no valuables secured; its a free for all. She had a stroke on top of Alzheimers 10 days ago due to Bro declining transport. I had to watch the stroke evolve to where she can barely talk, walk swollow. She was finally taken 8 days after stroke started to ER; CT & MRI confirmed stroke. Bro has POA & shows up occ. Two unqualified sitters are there since stroke 24/7 now & do NOT like me coming over! They are encouraged to be hateful, ignore any questions. The 3 are a team coaching my mother daily to keep me away! I have to call for a police escort when she begs me to come over. Then once I get there the coaching begins via bro on phone with mom, lead sitter shows up & sitter already there & I am told by police to not step foot on property. I even have it recorded my mom telling me she wants me to come over (5 min. before police arrive)! My mother is incompetent & easily coachable,
APS does not want to be involved; came to see her once, chatted briefly without mom’s hearing aide, stated they do not go inside house (to see sparce groceries in refrig. Major power play between my brother & I (he could give a crap about her....wants her to hurry up & die $$$) scared them off
I filed to have her arrested at Magistrate, but put case on hold; she’ll get exposed to Covid, get out, take virus back to my mom. My mom likes her as she lets my mom do whatever (mom has severe Alzheimers) Major control and jeolousy issues with bro.
8 days to be seen for stroke symptoms is unacceptable. Aids hitting you is unacceptable. Your brother’s alienation and neglect of your mother is unacceptable.
Good luck and please keep us posted.
When finally you said that your Mother likes her caregivers because they "let her do anything", I think we have the answer we need.
Your mother is in the care of your brother to whom she gave POA. She is happy enough with her caregivers, whatever your judgement of them is. They let her do what she wants? Good for her!
For an elder to be torn between children is a terrible thing. Here they are in a fragile state with an absolute was going on. I can't imagine anything more distressing.
How about a try at this?
A letter to your brother saying "I have had a change of heart; this must be awful for Mom. How about I offer you my help. I can do respite care for Mom. I can do shopping. I make a great casserole. Can I cook for her a few nights a week? Do you need help getting Mom to appointments? Any supplies I can get sent in for you? I would love to visit, even if a monitored visit, and I promise to make it happy and pleasant for Mom and all involved. I won't interfere with the care you have set up. I hope we can mend our relationship."
At the very least that might just shock him to death. Here's the thing, and I don't know you, or your situation, so honestly I cannot judge it. But your Mom, as things stand, is being torn in two by her kids; that sort of thing is just a red flag for me as I was a nurse and there were times I saw kids literally arguing over the helpless body of their parents. It was dreadful. Please find another way, for the sake of the love you bear your Mom.
in her own home with your brother
in her own home not with your brother, but with 2 x live in aides
in her own home alone, with aides visiting her
in your brother's home
somewhere else?
Neither APS nor the judge - if this gets as far as an application for guardianship - will be interested in getting between you and your brother. Their focus will solely be on your mother's welfare, and they will be guided by what they can learn of your mother's own wishes and preferences.
Among many other factors, though, they will want to uphold your mother's right to a relationship with all of her children. If your brother prevents you from communicating with her, or if in future you were to prevent him from seeing her, that would be a demerit from the court's point of view and they would have the power to give guardianship to somebody else altogether.
If what you say is actually happening then you should call Adult Protective Services and file a complaint with them to protect your mom.
Major power play between my brother & I (he could give a crap about her....wants her to hurry up & die $$$) scared them off
If you were assaulted, that should be reported to the police.
Major control and jeolousy issues with bro.