Brother with Alzheimer's and dementia is getting angry with memory care staff. Can they force me to take him out?

Follow
Share

I asked this question yesterday (He is in his last stages of this horrible disease. A few months ago, he has developed anger issues with the staff, and other patients. This memory care unit wants him out of there, and his advocate for the State has found him a place that will accept him, but it an hour and two away from any of his siblings. Now that he is in his last stages, being lethargic, and they cannot find out what is wrong with him, in that respect, they still want him moved. The state is telling me that we have to move him on Sunday no matter what. Is this legal, and what would happen if we just dont move him?) And received a lot of good information, however things have changed a bit.
We as a family did some checking around, and we found a place where my dad was when he had Alzheimer's. They said that they have a bed for my brother, and as a family feel this is a better fit for him. So the manager put the paperwork in motion, but may take a few days because it is the weekend. This memory care place that he is in now, wants him out by monday morning, because the said "they gave the bed away to another patient that will be moving in on monday" I think that is a lie, because when I was there a couple weeks ago, they had like 3 or 4 rooms empty. That manager told me I have to move him Monday no matter what. My brother is lethargic at this point, and what if I cannot move him into the other facility on Monday. What if it takes until tuesday to move him. I cannot bring him to my house. He needs to be changed, fed, etc. I cannot do that. What would be my and his rights? Can they force me to take him out?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
30

Answers

Show:
1 2 3
Hello Sister to the Brother that was going to get transferred out of the area away from his family and he had become lethargic and she also now had the original place that he was staying at willing to take him.
You have been given all this advice from everyone, and days have past,
please let us know what happened. Much Appreciated.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

erin, I'm glad you were able to do that with your dad; not everybody can; if my dad hadn't done - or had happen to him - what did, not sure what we could or would have been able to do; his grandson had been staying with him, keeping him at home for the past 2 yrs. but he had diminished to the point he wasn't going to be able to keep it up by himself
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

It worked beautifully,after I put him in an apartment with sitters.I took him out of the psych hospital AMA (against medical advice---the shrink was "way too busy to speak to the family"). I got the stinkeye from every medical professional afterwards---How dare I have an opinion overriding their authority! Just because I have spent 37 years working in Intensive Care units and 59 years knowing my father---how dare I?? I have his medical POA and know what I want for him,his wishes.Medical professionals are NOT infallible and my Dad is not their first priority---he was mine. I had enough experience in the field to have an informed,slightly jaundiced eye and this was increased exponentially on the patients'family side of the equation. I have been guilty of the suppressed sigh of impatience, the hidden eye-roll of irritation with the "family member" who wants to know or ask something that to "us" is self-evident.I have prayed many times for forgiveness for the sin of arrogance and lack of professional patience,badly hidden. If I ever work in this profession again( questionable after Dad's journey), I hope I will have real humility.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I hope it worked out. All of the transfers from one facility to another that I am aware of involved both places working together and co-operating. It sounds like they had two places that would accept this lady's brother.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

The lovely (no irony) AL my Dad resided in decided he needed more supervision when his dementia erupted after a "psychotic break" when they transferred him via ambulance,against his strenuous objections,to an ER and thence to a psychiatric hospital. HE HAS DEMENTIA. His lovely GP(no irony) had never seen dementia in him,although I had been trying to tell his doctor Dad had major personality changes (the shrink diagnosed bipolar disorder/dementia) ,no short-term memory, fabricated memory,disorientation etc etc.His doctor kept telling me how intelligent Dad was and such a fluent conversationalist! Not the issue, Doc: he is genius level I.Q. and a writer with an incredible vocabulary, but HE HAS DEMENTIA.He was not aggressive,just obstreperous and verbally nasty (hello bipolar).They really wanted to get rid of his verbally nasty,aggressive ex-girlfriend,who was trying to micromanage his care,while his daughters (my sister and I) were living in Nashville,unaware of his diminishing capacity. I moved to his home in Texas just after the psych hospital admission.The AL were going to ship him to a behavioral Alzheimers unit 100 miles away,with enhanced care for unruly dementia pts,which sent an intake nurse who wanted him evaluated for a recurrent medical issue in a local hospital.While he was in the hospital, the behavioral unit declined to take him because of his idiopathic (cause unknown) anemia and the AL refused to take him back because he was discharged from their care.We were offered the choice of a rundown, Medicaid funded "nursing home" or Rusk, the Texas hospital for the criminally insane, with a locked "memory care unit".Sandbagged.Totally sandbagged.We reluctantly accepted the Medicaid warehouse for a month, as the lesser of two evils.I found him a beautiful Memory Care facility,which he still hated as too confining and institutionalised,then moved him to a private handicapped apartment with sitters,Home Health and hospice. Upshot: doctors are often woefully uninformed about dementia (one corrected me when I said Dad had dementia,if not actually diagnosed Alzheimers yet, "Oh,they're the same thing" Not according to the Alzheimers Association and 100% of the literature---don't let doctors intimidate you---they are not God-like,no matter what they're told.They make big, gross errors occasionally.)ALs and nursing homes have ten million laws dictating their conduct which they learn to circumnavigate by the behaviors cited by these letters and the above example---technically legal, but highly questionable morally.The people who advised you to drop your brother on the streets,to be dealt with by cops should be reported to every authority your CELA lawyer can find.The advocate has the power of the State behind them, but your own advocate can advise you of your legal recourse.The care facilities bully and hornswoggle you when they can, use medical terminology and care facility laws and patient rights you are unfamiliar with, to make you conform to their convenience. Educate yourself as to your and his rights---you have to learn to be proactive and self-defensive and wary when dealing with the medical bureaucratic edifice---exhausting sometimes. Good luck! Erin
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

To JDP1000 - tell that facility that you should let your father off in the street and let the police find him to go jump.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Pamstegma, I noticed that too, just finished reading all the posts. I hope everything worked out for her and her brother. Hopefully the poster will come back and let us know.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Two Sundays have passed since the original post. No further contact from the original poster, ajnalikat.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I strongly agree with contacting the advocate on the matter. In fact, I would've told the facility to contact the advocate as well as you, and that you have no way of moving this person within their timeframe. I personally would make a police report and report the incident as elder abuse, especially if they try to dump the patient on the street and leave them on their own. I've never dealt with anyone with end-stage dementia or Alzheimer's, but it sounds to me like the patient really needs to be in a facility that's able to handle the behavior. If you can't move the patient, just tell the nursing home you can't, but don't tell them in person or otherwise they may load up the patient and push them off on you. You're best off just to call them and let them know the patient can't be moved right now, and if they have anything to say about it, contact the patient's advocate. I would also contact the APS as well as an elder care attorney and tell them what's going on besides making a police report.

* Finally, they can't really 'force' you to do anything, you must agree to act on their demands. Next time they bother you, tell them to just call the APS or even the cops if they have a problem. When the cops come, just explain the situation
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Not sure what you mean by a State Advocate. When I had an issue like that with my Mother I called the Ombudsman who is like a mediator who comes in and tries to find a resolution. If this is anything like when a hospital wants to release you. They have to have someone pick you up and take you. If you are not there until Tuesday what can they do? I don't think they can put him on the street - that would be elder abuse. I live in California and if you do also you should call the local Ombudsman.
Hope this helps a little.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

1 2 3
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Related
Questions