What makes you think he is? That is, what leads you to believe that your brother is putting your mother in a care centre to die in order to punish her for things that happened in his past?
Please explain: what you mean by a care centre how your brother comes to be in charge of where your mother lives how old your mother is, and what her illnesses and/or disabilities are what happened to your brother that could have led to his holding a grudge against your mother how, in that case, he still retains control over her living conditions what your role in your mother's care is why you see living in a care centre as 'punishment'
Without this information, how can anybody possibly begin to understand?
Many, many of us have to put our loved ones in a care center. Very seldom is this decision made as a punishment. It is not generally abuse. Sometimes it is exactly in the best interest of the loved one.
dsa52882, can you explain what you think would be better for Mom?
Does Brother has some legal authority to make decisions for your mother (such as guardianship, or power of attorney or medical proxy)?
You know about his past. We don't. So you probably have more insight into his relationship with Mom than we do. But even if we heard the whole story in detail, we still wouldn't know whether he is acting in revenge or in what he considers her best interest.
I guess the important question is what would be in her best interests? Can you give us your opinion on that?
Is your mother close to death? Is the care center a hospice center?
We need a lot more details here before we can help. Is anyone taking care of your mother now? What are her physical and mental problems? What in the past made your brother resentful of your mother? If you don't want your mother in a care center, would you be able to care for her? Let us know something and someone may have some advice of things you may be able to do.
Does anyone have POA. IF you brother does he is not acting in her best interest and the POA can be revoked. You may have bad feelings about their mother. But, she can't be abused by her son. I would make a police report and go to get a restraining order and have her taken out of his custody. If you have anything in writing or message on you phone. That is evidence.
Just move forward the best you can. Think about what might really be best for her. Try to talk to him about it. If he's still too angry to let go and do what's best for her, you have to just do your best. People don't forgive and forget just because we want them to. Whether or not she did anything so terrible to him (or maybe she did) isn't the point -- the point is that if he can't let go of the past, you can't make him do it.
Please explain:
what you mean by a care centre
how your brother comes to be in charge of where your mother lives
how old your mother is, and what her illnesses and/or disabilities are
what happened to your brother that could have led to his holding a grudge against your mother
how, in that case, he still retains control over her living conditions
what your role in your mother's care is
why you see living in a care centre as 'punishment'
Without this information, how can anybody possibly begin to understand?
dsa52882, can you explain what you think would be better for Mom?
Does Brother has some legal authority to make decisions for your mother (such as guardianship, or power of attorney or medical proxy)?
You know about his past. We don't. So you probably have more insight into his relationship with Mom than we do. But even if we heard the whole story in detail, we still wouldn't know whether he is acting in revenge or in what he considers her best interest.
I guess the important question is what would be in her best interests? Can you give us your opinion on that?
Is your mother close to death? Is the care center a hospice center?