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[Sorry - this was meant to be continuing the conversation with needtowashhair but I've put it in the wrong bit and can't seem to move it.]

Well...

We, and by "we" I mean Western societies taken as a broad sweep, do care; but we care in radically different ways.

Btw, the cost of living in Tokyo is among the highest in the world. Prices are dizzying.

I can't remember if it was George Mikes or another commentator who observed that we in the West operate a guilt culture, whereas Japan is the supreme example of the Eastern shame culture.

A Japanese elder is ashamed to accept being helpless. That is why you observe even the oldest and most frail of those residents trying hard to maintain personal standards in all things, from bowing (when they really can't bend much at all) to showing appreciation of little quips about their beaux. You may also have seen tv footage of the Fukushima rescue, when memorably a very elderly lady, carried out on a stretcher, was still attempting to rise and bow to thank her rescuers.

If you were managing a facility full of Japanese elders your difficulties with compliance and challenging behaviours would pretty much vanish. [I don't know if this is true but I would certainly be interested to learn whether the sheer depth of ingrained social training even masks dementia for much longer]. But if you were a resident, and expected to care deeply, to your very soul, about maintaining standards of etiquette, personal hygiene and grooming, willingness always to join in and try your best no matter what your infirmities... you would think you had died and gone to eternal boot camp.

Or, if you were managing a facility staffed by Japanese CNAs, your staff turnover, absenteeism and discipline issues similarly would be no more. But if you worked there, and found that your coworkers were genuinely shocked and appalled by your pathetic failure to live and breathe the facility's corporate culture 100% at all times, including when asleep, you would long to feel annoyed by Western idleness and cynicism (as long as the job still gets done somehow, kind of).

So, lack the will? We lack the entire mindset. We lack the minutely defined rules of life and society. There are compensations, such as freedom of expression and individual choice; but those are perhaps not so helpful if you're trying to run an excellent facility.
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Reply to Countrymouse
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Ask Sue 19?? . She posts sometimes on the “what’s for Dinner?” thread. She is a nurse, Mexican husband and lives in Mexico, works in US. She might offer some good insight.
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Reply to UsedupDIL
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A current news story about Mexico hospital and care there. Google firefighter in Mexico hospital. I sure wouldn't consider placing a loved one in Mexico based on what this story states, and there was a wife advocating for her husband. They still had tremendous difficulty.

And from your profile mom has dementia and already in a nursing home. Leave her be. A move to Mexico at this point would cause a tremendous decline that she may not recover from. She passes there. Then what?
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Reply to gladimhere
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Mexicans as a culture treat their elderly with more dignity and respect than Americans. It is my understanding, the facilities are state of the art and most of the staff are bilingual. My mom has visited a few because she is bored retired and is thinking of working as a traveling nurse for a few years.

The drawbacks is it is self-pay but alot cheaper than US counterparts. Also, based on where she lives now, if she has certain conditions, a doctor should be consulted due to the altitude difference. Medicare will not pay for many procedures there so she may need to come back across the border for treatments or pay out of pocket.

There is violence in certain parts, so research the area.
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Reply to tacy022
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I am a foreigner, so forgive me if I am not putting this as tactfully as I should; but does your mother or the rest of your family have any connections in Mexico?

If your brother's idea is to find the best environment for your mother's sense of security and wellbeing, that's one thing.

If this is a cost saving exercise, but the placement will put your mother out of practical reach for visiting, then... :(

What has your brother said about the plan, exactly? What's his reasoning?
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needtowashhair Oct 21, 2018
Many Americans do it. It's Mexico and not TImbuktu. I know many Americans have a image of Mexico that's not too kind. Fortunately, that image is unfounded.

There are large American expat communities all over Mexico. From safety to quality of life many find it refreshing compared to the US. But if getting back to the US is of concern, there are plenty of Mexican Nursing Homes along the border that cater to Americans. Here's one close to San Diego. If needed you can get back a San Diego hospital in short order. 21 miles and 38 minutes to be back in the heart of San Diego according to google. That's better than being in some areas of the US to get to a major hospital. This news story is about a San Diego nurse who put her mom in a Mexican nursing home. As you can see, the staff speaks perfect English and many of the residents are American.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_WSdVZjnKQI
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I've thought about the same if it ever comes to that. I've seen some videos on youtube about Mexican facilities and the quality seems pretty high especially considering the greatly lower cost.

I wish we had access to Japanese nursing homes. Check this place out. It costs about $25K a year. Which is high for Japan since it's a private facility. If Japan can do it, why can't the United States?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lf-OBn8Nwko
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Countrymouse Oct 20, 2018
Because you are not Japanese, and neither are your elders :)

I too greatly admire much of what I saw, and thank you for the link, but we would not last five minutes in that place either as a staff member or as a resident. We would get expelled for being dangerous subversives.
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