It breaks my heart when I read stories like this. When a love one is on their journey "home", this is a time when family comes together to embrace & unite to support each other. I heard $$$ can break up a family, hopefully, I will never experience this. There are more professional people that can direct you to the "Legal" resources you might need, but Please...Please..Please... remember, this is MOM & I am sure it will break her heart if she is witnessed to the family separation. I wish you & your family strength & really think about what is the worth of losing family over. God Bless
I am so sorry you and your mom are going through this horror. My husband and I had the exact same situation with his brother and mother. Calling the police will not help, they aren't likely to get involved in that. You can call Adult Protective Services in your county and they will advise you. After that, you can speak to your mother and see if she really wanted that person to be her POA and if she even understands what that means. If she doesn't want that person and she is competent, she can sign a new POA choosing the person she wants. If she has already been declared incompetent she can't sign anything and you will need a lawyer and to go through a very expensive process to have her recent POA determined to be invalid. I invite you to check out the book I wrote about our story called TAles from the Family Crypt: When aging parents die, sibling rivalry lives
Your brother can do nothing with the POA as long as your mother is mentally competent. In order to invoke the POA he has to prove she is no longer competent. If your mother is mentally competent and agreeable, simply take her to an attorney and have a new POA created, voiding the original one; if she is not mentally competent, then you have a harder road. You will need the doctor to declare she was mentally incompetent at the time the brother had the POA done and you will have to obtain an attorney and fight a legal battle. Good luck.
thanks for that story. Two years ago I nearly had to brow beat my husband into putting my name on all of his accounts. He is 82 and in very poor health. I felt like a rat being so strident with him--after this story, I realize that i was RIGHT.
In the US when there are two competing POA's you to go to court and file for guardianship. This is where you and your brother will present your case to the judge explaining why you should be in charge of your parents resources and whether or not your mother was of sound mind and judgment to name either of you as her agent. Kind a like a custody battle between parents This is when it's most important to seek consultation from an elder law attorney not your typical estate planning lawyer. I would also advise only make a PS report if you have to have reasonable suspicion of abuse. Butt one good step may be to call them and get educated on your specific state's (or country) laws . Then I would keep a journal and document anything that you find suspicious about how he performs his duties. It's a long process but if you really believe it's in your mom's best interest to remove him as POA I would encourage you to stay the course.
Has he abused his position yet, or do you think he might? Because if so, you need to do something. As POA, he has control of her bank accounts and makes all decisions. I would keep an eye on him, but he can shut you out quick if he wanted to. If he got her to do this when she was confused and not able to think clearly, then you might have a chance. Good luck.
POA is how my sister in law ended my Dad, my Mother, and our primary caregiver's lives. Next he will want her Medical POA. You should try like everything have your Mother sign an uptodate POA. This needs to be done ASAP and I personally would keep the new POA quiet as long as you can. What My sister and I have been through involved 7 lawyers and all were corrupt. There should have been no lawyers for my Dad had it all taken care of by a trust lawyer. One of the honest lawyers in my town told me it is going on everywhere so no lawyers want the truth, they want the money. Both of my brothers had terrible past but the lawyers kept us quiet so they could clean all the assets after they killed the elderly and threaten and tortured all the witnesses. Louisiana
There is a duty on the solicitor to establish that the POA has been set up properly - i.e. the elderly person is sufficiently campus mantis to give the power of attorney over to said person. If it has been done without a solicitor there is still a requirement for the person to be sufficiently cognoscenti to confirm that person as POA. It is NOT sufficient for a solicitor to say do you want x to be your POA and get a yes response. Chances are if she had said do you want Chew Bacca to be your POA she would still have gotten a yes response. The person actually has to understand the concept of POA and what responsibilities he or she may be relinquishing. If dementia is present that doesn't totally nullify the issues. In the early stages of dementia - even if it has been confirmed some people can still make choices and understand the issues involved. Later of course this will not be the case.
I have a friend who tells me this. The day you get your bank account you should also get a POA. No-one likes to think of themselves as mortal at 18 or so but she is right. A relative of ours had separate accounts from her hubby. He clearly transferred the housekeeping into her account each month and the rest was used for everything else. they saw no need to have joint accounts or POAs and the like.
He fell 6 years ago and hit his head on a marble hearth. In the blink of an eye he became brain damaged and his bank account was immediately stopped from transactions. Since no POA was in place the award went to the courts and she had to beg to be given her housekeeping. She now lives in utter poverty with no running hot water while he stays in a 5 star care home. He doesn't know who she is and she wants to die because she is so alone. So take heed my friends.
As for this specific issue you would have to prove trickery. And that won't be easy I suspect. However the law (certainly in California and I imagine everywhere else) is very clear....
POA abuse is the misuse by the attorney of the authority granted by the donor. It means making a decision or taking an action that is not in the donor’s best interest. An example would be when the attorney spends the donor’s money to benefit the attorney, rather than the donor, without permission. It may also include forging the donor’s name on the POA or coercing someone to make a POA against their wishes.
hence my comments about the duty of the attorney on all of this
Wow, everyone, these are devastating stories. jpkoala bear, so sorry you had to go through this. sleepless44, good for you and your parents for hanging in there and getting it right.
We had this problem when my auntie was abusing her POA status! You can phone the POA office and give the names of people involved and they shall look into it if he is seen to be abusing his status they can remove the POA with no questions asked :) hope this helps
As jpkoalabear mentions, the challenge is showing proof. While it may seem as plain as day to you and me that your brother's intent is malicious, nevertheless the fact that he has been legitimately been granted POA is a legal fact. The good thing is that POA can be changed, depending on the state that your mother is in. While this certainly appears to be elder financial abuse, until your mother states that he is acting against her wishes, it will be hard to actually establish this.
In my case, my sister had moved in with her husband and kids into my parents house to take care of our parents. She got POA and received a high compensation (maximum amount from a previous state) of $6000/month to take care of our parents. Our parents health was pretty good, being functional, alert, and quite cogent. Eventually, my parents elder law attorney, whom my sister arranged for them to set up the POA and Will, didn't like what was going on, and felt the level of care didn't come close to the compensation awarded. However, before contacting APS, even the lawyer needed to hear it straight from my parents how they felt about the care. At first, my parents weren't ready to cooperate and supported my sister, but after going to a neutral location where the lawyer confirmed to my parents that they could safely confide in her with complete confidentiality they shared that they weren't happy with the level of care, and also thought the compensation being asked from them was too much. Only then did the lawyer approach APS and set things in motion for removing my sister from POA, moving her out of their home, and helping my parents relocate to an assisted living arrangement of their choice. The lawyer also then set up a neutral third party elder financial service provider as POA.
Like the others here, I saw my sister's actions as being suspect, but lacked proof and cooperation from my parents to take action.
Usually the most recently signed POA doc is what authorities view as valid. However, if you can prove that your mum was mentally incapacitated at that time, you may have a case (medical records, psych exam, etc.). Hire an attorney to help.
calling the police is good advice, if they are unable to assist, then I would get APS (adult protective services) involved usually you can find them at your local Social and Health Services office. and yes, that would classify as elder financial abuse.
Don't know if this helps as I live in the UK and have had a very similar experience and it may or may not help you. My conman of a brother has got my mum to change her will when she was confused and weak and old .The problem you may have is proving it I have written and spoke to many solicitors and without proof they wont pursue the case have you full proof of a fraud? if so go to a solicitor don't bother with the police they see it as a family matter, well they do in the UK .My proof was lost and my thieving brother and his thieving wife have my mums house and money now my mum had always wanted 50/50 for her 2 boys' these thieving bastards have conned mum and disrespected my mums wishes ignoring her wishes after she had gone they really are a pair of money grabbing scumbags.Good luck with your case but without full proof don't waste your time .
thanks for that story. Two years ago I nearly had to brow beat my husband into putting my name on all of his accounts. He is 82 and in very poor health. I felt like a rat being so strident with him--after this story, I realize that i was RIGHT.
Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have a friend who tells me this. The day you get your bank account you should also get a POA. No-one likes to think of themselves as mortal at 18 or so but she is right. A relative of ours had separate accounts from her hubby. He clearly transferred the housekeeping into her account each month and the rest was used for everything else. they saw no need to have joint accounts or POAs and the like.
He fell 6 years ago and hit his head on a marble hearth. In the blink of an eye he became brain damaged and his bank account was immediately stopped from transactions. Since no POA was in place the award went to the courts and she had to beg to be given her housekeeping. She now lives in utter poverty with no running hot water while he stays in a 5 star care home. He doesn't know who she is and she wants to die because she is so alone. So take heed my friends.
As for this specific issue you would have to prove trickery. And that won't be easy I suspect. However the law (certainly in California and I imagine everywhere else) is very clear....
POA abuse is the misuse by the attorney of the authority granted by the donor. It means making a decision or taking an action that is not in the donor’s best interest. An example would be when the attorney spends the donor’s money to benefit the attorney, rather than the donor, without permission. It may also include forging the donor’s name on the POA or coercing someone to make a POA against their wishes.
hence my comments about the duty of the attorney on all of this
In my case, my sister had moved in with her husband and kids into my parents house to take care of our parents. She got POA and received a high compensation (maximum amount from a previous state) of $6000/month to take care of our parents. Our parents health was pretty good, being functional, alert, and quite cogent. Eventually, my parents elder law attorney, whom my sister arranged for them to set up the POA and Will, didn't like what was going on, and felt the level of care didn't come close to the compensation awarded. However, before contacting APS, even the lawyer needed to hear it straight from my parents how they felt about the care. At first, my parents weren't ready to cooperate and supported my sister, but after going to a neutral location where the lawyer confirmed to my parents that they could safely confide in her with complete confidentiality they shared that they weren't happy with the level of care, and also thought the compensation being asked from them was too much. Only then did the lawyer approach APS and set things in motion for removing my sister from POA, moving her out of their home, and helping my parents relocate to an assisted living arrangement of their choice. The lawyer also then set up a neutral third party elder financial service provider as POA.
Like the others here, I saw my sister's actions as being suspect, but lacked proof and cooperation from my parents to take action.
My conman of a brother has got my mum to change her will when she was confused and weak and old .The problem you may have is proving it I have written and spoke to many solicitors and without proof they wont pursue the case have you full proof of a fraud? if so go to a solicitor don't bother with the police they see it as a family matter, well they do in the UK .My proof was lost and my thieving brother and his thieving wife have my mums house and money now my mum had always wanted 50/50 for her 2 boys' these thieving bastards have conned mum and disrespected my mums wishes ignoring her wishes after she had gone they really are a pair of money grabbing scumbags.Good luck with your case but without full proof don't waste your time .