My brother tricked my Mother into making him POA. Any advice?

nephew is SO embezzeling from my brother. so far, joes house was foreclosed on, he has 8 credit cards in his name (only had 3 before his stroke), has a new car, and, oh yeah, so far, hes in collections for a $1300 cable bill, $2000 over on 1 of the 'new' creditcards, and, the water bill.
plus, he putall joes vehicles in his name, and sold a couple of them.
his son sure is a fine p.o.a.
we HAVE to get him off of it, befoe he totally ruins joes credit.

I'm sure it is almost prohibitively expensive for a family member to make an application for guardianship - and especially if it is opposed, as it almost certainly would be if Kiki were to make an application. But Kiki's sister is in Independent Living, and is a person with substantial disabilities. Would it be possible for her to make the application on her own account, with support from her ILF management and/or social care team, to protect her future interests?

Sounds good, Churchmouse, but are you aware of how expensive a proposition it is to obtain a legally appointed Guardian?! It is VERY pricey: court costs, attorney fees, Guardian-ad-litem reports etc. Ask any responsible attorney, and they will advise you that it is an expensive legal action. And, those who work as Guardians do not do so for free either. It is a very lucrative job for attorneys who choose to do it, since they charge by the hour. They charge the locally accepted price per hour that attorneys charge for other services. Although you do NOT have to be an attorney, there seems to be an inadequate number of responsible citizens willing to take on the task. We have much to improve in our American "system", and our attitudes toward, Caregiving. !

I suggest you take it to a nice judge who will appoint a guardian independent of your disabled sister's warring family. It sounds as though that would be the only way to lift your disabled sister clear of the conflict and ensure that her needs and welfare are her guardian's *only* consideration.

If your sister is partially sighted and has a learning disability (is that so, strictly speaking?), then there also needs to be an assessment of whether or not she can be said to have legal capacity. It would be easy to assume not, but the preference is to enable people with learning disabilities to be self-determining as far as possible, with appropriate support.

Are you in touch with any of the staff or managers at your sister's ILF? They may well know social workers or support workers with a specialist understanding of your sister's needs, who in turn might be able to advise you about how to go forward.

I'm not being rude about your family, by the way. I would guess that at least part of the reasons behind the conflict come from different people having strongly held but different views about how best to look after the sister/aunt. But if the poor lady isn't to be pulled in all directions the best way is to hand responsibility to an experienced, neutral third party.

disability of sister is legal blind with slight vision but can see with mag. glass can make own decisions for herself within reason, does not understand everything when explained to her within reason, neice interviened by getting pos due to conflict with her and her mother using using this to get back at her mother but also got me involved in it since am another sister, I feel like mother and daughter needs to get their difference resolved without involving handicap sister but to go after neice to prove her unfit to have this power but sister wants to file for guardinship for handicap sister knowing will only push her toward neice and further away from us this is a mixed up situation and handicapsister is caught in middle not knowing full and real reason behind it. Now I am confused at to push for guardinship or not knowing will make things worse. I guess I am actually asking what is correct way to go without damagining handicap sister more. She is not insane knows what she is doing up to a certain point slow in understanding properly but able to take care of herself. Neice is trying to move her out of where she lives to get her away for both of her sisters so neither one of us can contact her and I do not want this and sister does not need this but she will not talk to me about it,. What do you siggest. Thank you for listinign

I stated the attorney as arbitrator. Perhaps a family counselor to sort this out in front of a lawyer. This entire area of family feuds on a POA is inherent in most large families and needs addressing by competent authority as a guideline..

I hear your statement, and echo such an occurrence. "Resentment"? Yes. And, HURT, by family members "buying in" to agencies' accounting of the situation, and how the agency had been seeking their payments! This ill-advised interference by family members caused such emotional pain, it took a serious toll on my mother's health - hastening her demise as she approached her 100th birthday.

Elder care attorneys commonly advise for a single POA so that there won't be a conflict in decision making.

But I can understand if you were previously doing dual POA, why change it now?

As someone who was formerly accused of financial abuse, I do second the idea that we don't make, or advocate making, these accusations lightly. But also, if there is nothing to it, it's easily disproven. There's some resentment on my part about that but not necessarily because of the accusation but because my family didn't care enough to sort out what was happening with the finances. When a 3rd party (who was the real financial abuser, the home care agency) said that I was an abuser, family was temporarily influenced by the wrong party for a period of a few months -- but still, that's all it took for my grandmother's care to be taken out of my hands and she went from a healthy centenarian to deceased in 2 months.

I don't think most families are like my dysfunctional, disconnected, mistrusting family, but then again, these issues have a way of pushing buttons even in stable families.

Kiki the question is cognitive capability to make her own decisions. If not a DOCTORS CERTIFICATE will assume your authority over your mothers wishes. My suggestion under this circumstance would then meet the laws requirement.,

Kiki, what is the nature of your sister's disability, do you mind my asking?

kiki01, even at a Guardianship hearing, your disabled sister has some say and can refuse you as a Guardian.

can special documents be drawn up if disable sister and pos refuses to have this or do i need to file for guardian ship causing matters worse, Poa was obtained for wrong reason and to keep her away from her family but disable sister does not want to hear this

can special docoments be drawn up with request if disable sister and pos refuses to do so,, Reason for asking poa has power for wrong reasons is turning disable sister against up do need this to happen thank you kiki

Kiki a POA is a legal document signed and executed by a person of sound mind and it requires to be notarized and witnessed. Daughters are possessive and my suggestion is to have an attorney draw up a special document outline the responsibilities of each party to satisfy everyone and preserve the legality The document should address all issue as to distribution etc and allow the attorney to be the arbitrator to advise on any decisions that are in conflict.

going through issue with disable sister where a niece has convienced her to give her poa and not to tell anyone making other people bad and herself look good to sister to get what she want sister to do sister doesn't believe me to be telling truthbut believes niece and is begining to lie , niece has suggested to sister to tell others to stay away from her . I am sister trying to held disable sister but niece is turning her or has turned her against me dont know how to handle this

Your Brother does all the caretaken and you do nothing but work behind the scenes to lie and by the way you still owe your mother $8000 dollars that you stole from her when she was greiving over her husband death.

I bet you don't contribute to your Mothers Care you have your brother doing all the work. All you are worried about is getting the money later but when your mother is still alive you do nothing. Greedy Greedy Greedy that is what you are you should be ashamed of yourself. That Karma is going to catch up with you and all these people that agree and go along with your lies when they don't really know the situation the truth will come out.

Birdieme: U r too funny!

Jeanlyles, yes that is the other thing, one thieving poa, several puppeteer relatives behind the scenes

Realdottir I am in the same boat. I collapsed at work. Assisted living staff acts like I am the dirtbag. It is the devils work, trying to grab the old souls first. Ugh.

Take it from my experience, now is the most important time to hire a honest, good attorney. My brother used POA (to pay monthly bills) and ended both of my parents lives, cashed in all the annuities and policies and took all the cash. My sister in law (who is La attorney) planned and carried out the whole thing.

This is possibly a misdemeanor or a felony charge, but it should be put on the man's record.

I forgot to tell you ... Be careful if the courts should order a financial investigation, (I forget the official name) into your mother's finances. This person is provided by the courts, BUT ... this person is paid out of your mother's money. And they are VERY EXPENSIVE!!!!!

You REALLY should consult with an elder care attorney.

Is your mother in the correct frame of mind? If not, get a letter from her doctor stipulating when her dementia/alzheimers started, and how far it's advanced
.
It is illegal, for her to sign legal documents if these conditions, (or similar ones) exist. It is also illegal for the attorney to allow the POA to be signed by her.
Check with you lawyer (or legal aid). Your brother can be brought up on charges, as well as the attorney, (depending on the severity of her illness).

Good luck and God bless . . .

The intent of your mothers presence was to appoint you the POA. No need for the lawyer to talk to her outside of your hearing. This might be considered a malpractice if your brother contests the document as suspected collusion when you exercise your rights under the POA.

I am guardian for my disabled son and POA for my mother and I can tell you that the responsibilities are different. Although a guardian can also be responsible for handling. I have been told by several official sources that one person should not be both for one person - better checks and balances that way. My advice - start with the lawyer who drew up the POA. My mom made me POA and used her long time lawyer. When we went to him to draw everything up, after her desires were discussed the lawyer had me leave the room and talked with her without me present to ensure she wasn't being pressured by me. Was something like this done for your mom? Next I would talk to her doctor and determine if she is mentally competent and if not try to pinpoint a date of when dementia became a factor. Before or after the POA appointment. And while this may not apply to your case I'm gonna through this out there as well. I was made POA three years ago and at the same time my mom made a new will (again, I was asked to wait outside while the terms were decided upon and was only given the will - for safe keeping - after it was signed and notarized. My mom took a fall 2 months ago and for some reason it kicked off full blown dementia. Now my brother who was only minimally present prior is all of a sudden around all the time. He is helping some but I can't help but be suspicious - he's pulled some questionable things in the past. So while it took some time I waited for an opening when I could say - without accusations - " you know mom can no longer change her will or legal appointments any longer with her dementia diagnosis? A judge would rule for what her wishes were prior to her lossing it". I just felt better letting him know I wasn't gonna let him pull any funny business.

yes indeed you make a good case for Government intervening as I am advocating. The survivor in this case is now the victim. The attorney fees should also be regulated in a case of this nature since criminal intent is obvious.

These things can get very complicated. Here we needed to file a report with Adult Protective Services before the police would get involved. In the meantime, the family member passed away. APS determined that since there was now an attorney to help with distribution of the trust, there was no need for action. When I contacted several an elder care attorneys, they said that there was indeed a case, but because of the time involved the retainer fees would be between 10,000 and 12,000 dollars. It's a shame that there is no help for those who really need it meanwhile the perpetrator has to answer to no one. We estimate about 500K was taken and there is nothing the beneficiaries could do about it without coming up with a large sum of money to fight him. Even if we had been able to come up with the retainer fee, we were told that we still would need to prove he intended to be malicious. Not an easy feat when the document is signed by witnesses or a Notary.

The POA was designed to protect the patients dictates. It prevents family members to usurp the chattel of the persons wealth and when executed with someone in a sound mind, witnessed, notarized it is a legal document and safeguarded it prevents others from any illegal attempts to utilize all property of the now patient.

In the 1980s and 1970s we all got along fine without this Power of Attorney legislation and the living will legislation and Adult Protective services and department of aging. In the 1990s Bill Clinton Hilary's husband and Chelsey's father decided it was a fantastic ideology to have a Power of Attorney legislation that would quote enable the elderly or disabled to make decisions about if they want to be on life support or not and how they wanted to live their lives. Since then the Power of Attorney has not been used for its original intent to help the elderly and disabled plan their last wishes as well as their life. The POA has been used as a power grab for money to gain control of real estate and the will itself as well as the deed on someones property all the while the person the documents were supposed to protect do not have the quality of life deemed in these documents. I keep thinking back to when we could live happy as families and have our wish for our parents and grandparents to get old on the porch in the rocking chair and now with the end of life counseling this administration imposed we do not have that promise any more if we do not petition and fight these legislation that were wrong to pass in the first place. Relatives need to spend time with each other in old age and not worry if the big bad bear of a government and the doctors are planning an early demise.