My brother is refusing to let me see a copy of Mom's Will. Any advice?

Hey, folks, let us be kind, but if we do bicker the last one standing should offer to buy lunch.
Grace + Peace.
Bob

You have no particular legal right to see your mother's will while she is alive. After her death, however, her will will become a public document and no one will be able to prevent your seeing it. Do you have any reason to believe that anything untoward has taken place with regard to its drafting? If so, you might like to contact your nearest Citizens' Advice Bureau and seek advice.

But in any case, what has that to do with where you stay when you go to visit your mother? If you are finding it difficult to stay near her care home, try asking the staff if they have a guest room you could book for a nominal fee - many care homes do, especially those in remote locations, and even if they haven't they might still be able to suggest a good nearby B&B.

You should be able to ascertain whether or not your brother has a registered Enduring or Lasting Power of Attorney through the Office of the Public Guardian. If he has, I am surprised that you were not among the "People To Be Informed" listed on the EPA or LPA documentation - but try the OPG first and see what they say.

What is the history behind your brother's apparent animosity, do you mind my asking?

Wow..what a dilemma. You may want to get legal advice...if it turns out the will has been drawn up since she started to have dementia, there may be "fraud in the inducement" realities involved...Else, as I see it, why would the brother not the brother allow you to see the will?

Kind Regards,

A POA has to be drawn up when the person is lucid, and alert and oriented. Sometimes your own family can be your worst nightmare when it comes to money.

In my opinion, since your mom is 100 years old, why have you waited so long to be suddenly interested in her care. Or are you possibly one of the buzzards waiting for the prey to die. I apologize sounding so cold, but I know how families get when it comes to an impending death. They fight for the pickings and it's disgusting. I know EXACTLY how families get.

The point is, there's a lot about this story that we don't know. We need to not assume who's the good guy, who's the bad guy, what's been going on for years and what hasn't. Frankly, other than pointing out that wills aren't public until the person dies, we're not in a position to advise! There's way way way too much missing here.

I was told by my fathers atty NO ONE can see or should see a copy if the will until someone dies, my father did not listen and biught the copy to my brother in California. He has threatened and as bused everybody just bc he wasnt executor. We dhould have listen ti the atty it is nobody's business except the person who makes the will

There is no dilemma here at all. The will is no one's business and should not be seen by anyone until after death of the person. Regarding POA, ask bro to produce a copy. Regarding the family home, what did mom intend? If she intended that bro live there, then you just have to accept that, and he has no obligation to you. It sounds like mom decided she wanted your bro in her home and to be her POA. If that's the case and she prepared the appropriate legal documents to do so, it's none of your business. It may be inconvenient for you, but it's also not his responsibility to provide you with lodging. It's amazing what siblings that aren't caregiving think they are entitiled to, simply by nature of birth. If you wanted more from your bro, you should have invested more in maintaining your relationship with him. The boat you are in is of your own making, unfortunately.

I don`t think anyone can make assumptions here about this person. The brother may not be caregiving, he may have moved himself in, and while she may not have a legal right to see the will, to preserve goodwill, if he has the will, he could show it to his sister and offer to let her stay with him. I don`t think any of us has the right to judge her.

I'm not making assumptions. I just know how families operate when it comes to money. It's also funny how it becomes suddenly a prime importance at such an advanced age when their care giving should have been ongoing for decades.