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If you are really serious about this and are the person who is documented caregiver or are POA - hire a private investigator and find her. Then call APS. If what you are saying is true, you need a lawyer too.
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What States are you talking about Adult Protective Service? I'm in Illinois and never heard of it
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What States have this Adult Protective Care? I haven't heard of it in Illinois
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so sad, but please keep posting...would love to know what you were able to do for her! i feel so sorry for you mom.
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Document the actual events as they have taken and as they take place in concern to your mom. If you can have dates and be very factual. Make a journal of these events. The money issue may be fiduciary elder abuse but unfortunately hard to prove unless the bank has copies of the checks signed by your brother or wife from your parent's account. Still many factors come to play. Another thing to do is if you do find out where she is and you are legitimately concerned for your mom, call that local sheriff or police dept to "check the well being". The best thing to do, however, is to kill them with kindness. They won't know what hit them. It will change their game 9 times out of 10.
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All your screaming efforts will go to waste since this is a sibling fight which law enforcement are reluctant to become involved with, in other words, it is a civil matter taken up in family court. My siblings put conditions on me visiting our mother until I took them to court and the judge sided with me, but because there were five of us, time had to be allotted for nursing home visits. As it turned out, they never visited, but kept me on a schedule. Mother died in 2002, and even though I was not POA, the nursing home called me first when she died. I then called the sister with the POA and told her to call the other sisters. Bobby, depending on the stage your mother is in, she may be unable to use the phone much less talk on it since dementia robs the person of language skills. Since this seems to be an ongoing battle with your brother, perhaps if you could remember the best times you had with your mother and know that wherever she is now they are still caring for her. Stopping medications with a person who has dementia is not all bad because the person has a terminal illness. The more angry you get, the more YOU will suffer. Sometimes it is better to let things work out the way they are going to, and you will have to accept them.
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Does he really have in his heart to take care of his mother with Dementia or is this soul grapes. We are only hearing one side of the story.
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The ONLY thing you can do is get an elder attorney and file for guardianship of your mother.The sooner the better.
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These suggestions are fine but one rings out loud and clear are you able to take her with you and care for her?
Second and final be very careful about saying that they are not treating her right as you could be facing a defimation of character charge from them. Good luck because of ypur distance your in a difficult situation.
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I would either call APS, and tell them what you told us and ask what they suggest, or call the police and request a welfare check on your mom since they say they are at her house, give the police her address. Otherwise my last and most expensive suggestion would be to file a missing person report.
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I cannot understand why you have NOT called Adult Protective Services or the police to report this.
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I agree with those who ask "who has POA?" "Who is executor of the estate of your father?"
Looks like you will need to go in-person to your brothers to find out the status of your mom. You already know you'll have to be your own detective. Are you prepared to care for her? Prepared to place her (if you have your legal ducks in a row)? Sounds like she needs help but you will have to do more than wait by the phone. Hope she's okay; put a plan together.❤️
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I understand the frustration of not seeing your mom and sibling rivalry is the worst especially when your mom is in the middle and reason for it. People think differently on how to handle a situation properly and want the control. Trying to help your mom naturally however is I believe a good thing. That and prayer to the Living God. He is the author and finisher of her faith and good to trust Him for the outcome of her life and this situation. I'm praying Jesus, our Prince of Peace, guard you and guide you in this matter. He can make all things turn out of good for those who love Him. I pray you see your mom soon and for a Happy Thanksgiving~
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It does sound very complicated and troubling. Perhaps, a third party would be helpful in gathering information and sorting out what is going on. If your mother is truly missing, Adult Protective Services may be helpful.
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Bobby, I see from your profile that your Mom has Alzheimer's/Dementia. Since you don't know where she is, then you are unable to visit to see what is going on. Curious how do you know your Mom missed her doctor appointments and could be off her medicine? Is this what your Mom has been telling you via phone calls?

If yes, please note with dementia it is not unusual for a person to make up stories to get attention or to pit one grown child against another.

As for the rest of your post, way too complex for me to dive into.
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OK, so she is now in a different state? If they are constantly on the move, I seriously doubt you will even find them. Who is the Executor of Dad's estate? Surely they know where she is. Who is mom's POA? That person should also know where she is. Sheriff cannot force them to admit you to their home.
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