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Six years ago I inherited a really nice mobile home.It needed a little work,so I fixed it up and had my elderly mother move into. She lived there for five years. I maintained it and also took care of my mother. I had my own home close by. Mom's was like a second home. The MH was an investment for the future. A few months ago my brother took my mom to live with him and wife. Brother and I had a fallout after I found out he had called Adult Protective Services before he took mom. I don't know why he didn't just confront me if he thought I wasn't taking care of mom right. I'm easy going and receptive, so I don't know. They never contacted me. My brother was pushy and wanted access to mom's bank accounts and all. He had plans that were hidden from me. I felt he and mom were pushing me away. Mom was letting him take over everything I did for her. In the meantime, the MH is sitting there because the park didn't allow renters. Brother is isolating mom from me and the friction picks up between him and I. I refused to abide with everything he was asking because I just didn't feel right. I sort of felt abandoned. The next thing I know is brother changed locks on MH. He had the right because I titled it in mom's name and he and I both have POA. l have zero ownership unless mom dies even though I am a registered owner. I should have titled it joint owners, then if sold I'd at least get my 1/2 portion, better than nothing. But I didn't. I added myself as Transfer on Death, meaning if it's sold, I get nothing, my mother gets the whole check. In turn, brother opened a new account and he is sole beneficiary. He will put the money in that account. I'm basically out of luck and feel ripped off. I'm out the 40K profit and conniving brother gets it. I have little retirement savings left and I need the money. I can't believe one simple little thing like that could cost me everything. I was blindsided with all of this. I know there's no way he will give me 1/2 of sale price. People get vicious when it comes to money. I've called around for some legal advice, but it sounds like there is nothing I can do. Mom never calls anymore. We were close all our lives. Don't think she cares anymore. Feeling lonely and sad. had to vent.

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Yes, and like your brother, my brother thinks a nursing home will be best! The kicker with mine is that he's using (not my inheritance) but my investment to fund the nursing home! He knew I was financially strapped too. I just got divorced and was hit hard in the 2008 market collapse..lost a lot of money. Then caring for mom, not able to keep full time employment. I don't know how I made it this far to tell you the truth not losing my house too. It's been a struggle. I would still take care of my mother all over again at my own expense if I had to do over again. Oh well, so much for retirement planning - fate and destiny? Can't escape it.
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Yeah, my computer let a huge "BEEP"- I knew it when that cyberhug hit!!!

Hey thanks for communicating. I sure do appreciate it. You are right that this stuff happens to so many families. I'm not proud to say it, but unfortunately mom is the person who could never mediate between my brother and I when we were younger. When we were growing up he used to antagonize me and when I reacted, my mother would holler at me. Thinking back he was sneaky. People don't change. There's an inner core. I have a lawyer who is now reviewing documents to see if there's anything that can be done about the sale. My brother is so eager to get a hold of money he doesn't deserve or didn't make. On his 5th wife. Tell you something? I did manage to transfer a large sum from mom's account over into another custodial account when the gut feeling hit that he was headed to the bank! Sure enough, he did and was livid when the money was missing! Of course, mom's with him and she's raging mad at me too, because she just can't believe that I'd "steal" her money (that I've managed for 10 years!). So brother immediately called APS as more evidence I was an abuser! lol I never did turn over my mother's money to my brother as many times as APS called me. I was in the right, and I wasn't about to transfer money to someone who I could already prove was a fraud and in violation of his duty as POA. I find it so hard to find a lawyer than really hears me out. I cannot believe, after knowing all circumstances of this situation, there isn't something that can be done. Of course, he'll say the money will be in my mother's account, but if she passes he is the beneficiary! Something wrong with picture! lol!
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Thank you! The cyber hug felt good! You just take care of yourself. That, you can be in control of. You sound like someone who has her head on straight. Good for you that you have a clear conscience. That's worth more than money ever can be. Personally, I believe when we die, we move on to another plane where we can see truth. Someday your Mom will understand it all and love you for all you've done for her. I'm sure of it. In the meantime, you never know. Something you can't predict now might happen and you might get at least one more chance to talk with her and let her know again how you feel. I'm sure she misses you. I'm learning more and more how many families are like ours. I would have had the exact same experience you have undergone if I hadn't, by the grace of God, discovered within days of my Dad being released from the hospital several years ago, what my brother and his wife were planning. I gave Dad the option to move in with me and he changed POAs to me and moved in where I cared for him for the next 2 years and 8 months until he passed. Brother and his wife were furious beyond measure that Dad and I chose to do this. To this day and after Dad passing, they still defend their argument that the nursing home would have been best for him regardless of what he wanted - and had a clear mind enough to state for himself at the time. I'm just grateful that this didn't happen. It would have torn me apart let alone shortened Dad's life and left him feel abandoned by his own children.. Take very good care. Have faith that it will all work out someday and live your own good life in the meantime.
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Catmusician....Sorry to hear of your family issues too. Not fun stuff. You're strong and have your mind in the right direction. One thing I am proud of about myself is that I have a very clear conscience. Very few regrets, but I learned early in life how badly it feels to do hurtful things to others. Never made me feel good about myself. I guess my brother has deeper issues than I ever realized. Maybe he didn't get the love he felt he deserved and seeing mom slowly slipping away is harder for him to deal with than he ever expected. Reaction is guilt and anger. I'm the victim. Both of us a product of dysfunctional upbringing. Yes, and mom can't think logically anymore and she's so confused. What bothers me most is that I wonder if she wonders what happened to me or if brother's convinced her I never cared about her anyway. She and I have NEVER not talked. So I don't know. Thank you again for such a kind and supporting reply. I'll give myself a hug! lol And one for you too!
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I know how you feel. I am estranged from my brother and his family now too. It is hard not to dwell on it but we have to realize that there is so much more to life and that we have lives that are intended to be lived too and not just through others. Take really good care of yourself. Take each day, one at a time. You'll be fine but it will take time to really get back to yourself again. As for your Mom, try to realize that she is no longer the person she used to be. She is not capable of seeing the truth for what it is. Even if she is still capable of thinking rationally, she is experiencing the pain of old age, loss of independence and responds with anger and defiance at those around her. It is likely she will eventually be expressing these emotions to your brother eventually. Hope and pray for her that she is in a good and safe place. If you ever get a chance to see her again, take that opportunity and just show and express the love you have for her. Whether she returns it or receives it from you is nothing you can determine but you'll know that you did your best and that your love for her is sincere, genuine and lasting. Give yourself a hug today for being a good daughter. You deserve it!
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Catmusician...thank you for your very warm reply. Mom's pretty ill and nearing hospice. Brother and I had our first and probably last fallout four months ago. Something happened, his demeanor changed, he was very cold. Then he whisked my mother away and tried to get me to turn over all her money, health info, everything. Very extreme. I refused because he was acting so weird. Then I found out he reported me for not turning everything over to him. Was I supposed to? I didn't think so. Something wasn't right, just a bad feeling. I refused to budge, so he's taken revenge. It was like he cared nothing about me anymore. Very odd feeling. Your absolutely right. I need to put it to bed and move on. I'm trying, then something happens and I start dwelling on it all over again. So glad for this website and knowing people do care here. We're all experiencing similar issues so it is comforting.
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I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I was afraid of having to deal with something similar while I was taking care of my father with a brother and sister-in-law who were obviously planning to do something like your brother did. It came close a few times but our Dad, unlike your Mom, finally realized that what I was providing him was more to his liking than what my brother was willing to offer. It is horrible and it is cruel what your brother has done but seems to happen far too often in families. It seems that there is little you can do now but try to take care of yourself and move on with your own life. It will be hard not to be full of anger and resentment which can lead to depression but you deserve better. You could make yourself ill feeling negative angry feelings all the time. Try to divert your attention to something else more constructive and let the past and the present family situation go. Perhaps one day your Mom will realize all you've done for her and how you put her interests ahead of your own. I pray for you that day comes soon but you have no control over that. Don't be surprised if she even wants to come back one day. But for now, just let it go and look for the good in life and the beauty of the world around you. It was there before this all started and it is still there for you to enjoy for the rest of YOUR days. Take good care.
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JesseBelle...Oh, yes, mom is still alive. Brother has her isolated. He won't let her talk to me, because, he's told her, "I" piss "him" off all the time and she doesn't like that. He tells her I am a bad person now = keeping her under his control. She's extreeeeemly gullible. Brother is very passive, sneaky, non-confrontational. I am "in your face and on attack alert" when I am hurt.
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JessieBelle, Thanks for your reply. I know I didn't explain it well.....The reason I titled it in mom's name is because the Park is exclusively "owner occupancy" units. So mom needed to be listed as the Owner.

To be honest, I cannot remember why I chose to put myself as "Transfer on Death" and not Joint Ownership. I can't believe I was that stupid then not to know the difference, but I never thought twice about it. I recall several titling issues – it was the MH from hell! Maybe I was just relieved to get it titled. On the other hand, I really didn’t see a problem.

I’ve taken care of mom for the last 5 years with no help from anyone. I’ve done a hell of a lot for her. took care of her after a stroke 24/7 without help from anyone. Ended up divorced with financial problems while attending to mom and couldn’t sustain a full time decent paying job while on call all the time. She made it very difficult for me. It wasn’t easy and I sacrificed a lot. Brother is a self-centered, deadbeat do-nothing person, always has been. It’s ironic how I handed the robbers the key. I did all the work while they enriched themselves and kicked me to curb. I think it is just fate.
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I'm confused by this all. I am trying to figure why you titled the MH in her name. Was it for tax purposes? I am so sorry this happened. We can never depend on something passing to us after someone dies, because things can change so quickly. It is sad when family turns out to be the ones we can trust the least. It happens, though. I hope you can recover financially from this. Sometimes all we can do is dust our shoes off and keep going.
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