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My dad with dementia lives with me. He's been living in my home for just a month now, we've got a good routine set and I've hired a nurse to occasionally come in and help. I live about an hour away from my brother, we do not get a long, he is hostile towards me, and he has a record for assault (not against me). I have DPOA for dad, I nice home, accustomed to taking care of other people. Brother is 50 never married, no kids, does not work, desperate for money. We are opposites in every way. I've handled everything well with him, threats, smart remarks, playing games, you name it, but twice now that he's come out to see dad, he kicks my dog when he walks by her, she's a large dog, about 65 lbs, she'll yelp, get up and walk off and then growl at him, he lays into her on purpose, she doesn't even have a chance to get out of his way. I've told him to not do it, but because he knows it bothers me and it's not right, he does it. I don't trust him obviously, so I don't want to put her in a separate room when he's here because I do feel threatened by him. What can I do? I feel if I tell him he's not allowed here, it's just fuel for more grief he wants to cause me and I have quite enough as it is. Since his actions are so predictable, I've considered simply record the video of him doing this "next time" on my phone and taking it to the police and pressing animal abuse charges against him. What do you think?

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Thanks to everyone for your comments. In the one month that dad has been here with me, the brother has been out twice. He does obviously have emotional issues or worse, I've told him for years he needed to talk someone and possibly be on medication, he doesn't listen. The two times he's been out, I've scheduled a morning for him to come out to see dad, he intentionally comes out the day before or even two days before and first thing in the morning before anyone is even up. Eddie's point is correct, he comes out for something and it's not to see dad, it is to harass me. I think it's time for a restraining order. Eyerishless is correct too. Thanks for your advice.
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I'm a dog lover, and my 1st reaction to your post was a sudden desire to stick my boot up that loser's a__. His behavior reminds me of my drug-addicted patients. He's coming for something. Make sure he doesn't get it. Ask him to call before swinging by if you're not going ahead with the Restraining Order. And please put the dog in another room. She's really not going to help you if he does lash out at you.
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Even at the age of 50 your brother is a punk who is so insecure that he has to take his rage out on a an animal to show how powerful, manly, and in control he is. I have no doubt he has a profound personality disorder if not out right mental illness. This has nothing to do with whether we like animals or not or whatever, it demonstrates to me that your brother has very serious psychological issues. And I will agree with what most people said, quit letting him into your house. He's a bad, bad guy.
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I have 2 dogs - a 100lb 7 year old black lab who came from rescue in April 2013, and a minpin x jack russell terrorist inherited from my mother plus 4 cats - 3 of mine and one also inherited - and a big old goldfish called Ralph. I'm home most all the time and live in the country on 2 acres. Animals are like children. It's the fault of those who bring them up as they know no better.
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My cat just hears my tone of voice and the pointed finger and he knows hes been naughty but hes a good well brought up cat hes out all day and sleeps all night! Disciplining pets is like children there is no need for violence the tone of your voice to a pet is enough my cat never goes on the table as hes never that hungry he eats 3 meals a day and hes always satisfied he never begs for food i always leave nuts in his bowl as ive read this makes a happy cat!
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yup, never blamed the animals, its the ignorant owner whos too lazy to teach em anything. theyve been kicked out of multiple places over these animals and then sued for the destroyed carpets. theyre forcing me to be the jerk and i resent the hell out of it. im frigging gagging down here. ill wait till nice weather so they can move safely and toss em out.
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Another good deterant for cat miss behavior is one of those pressurized cans of air that you use for cleaning dust off electronics. My daughters cats are hellraisers but they just have to see you pick up the air can and they are off the table. When I was staying I had a piece of toast on a plate on the table and turned to the fridge for a second to get jam When I turned back the plate was empty. Oh boy I thought the dementia is coming on fast. Then I found cat and toast in the hall with cat licking off the butter
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If someone, anyone did that in my home to my pets, they would not be leaving the house in one piece. Call the police, get a restraining order. Don't bother filming him...that just gives him another chance to abuse your dog again, possibly killing the dog from internal injuries. There is a special place in hell for people who abuse animals.
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Countrymouse, great point about abusing animals and psychological issues. Often the first sign of a serial killer is killing animals, not that your brother is a serial killer, but you get my drift. It is s sign of deeper psychological issues. And he has been charged with assault also? I wouldn't let him in my house.
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I note that you state you feel threatened by your brother. He is not coming to visit you, but his father. Do not give him access to your home. Would it be possible to arrange a visit at the local library or quiet coffee shop or luncheonette when he comes to visit your father?

Another note, you can easily teach a cat to stay off the table with a quick squirt from a water bottle. Throwing it across the room is overkill. I would not tolerate anyone's feet on my table unless they were on the menu! ;-)
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If you're not ready to go to the police, which is a big step, just have another person - any other person - present when your brother is there. Even a little old lady or a child can be a witness to let him know people are seeing what he is doing. If it's important to you and your dad that he gets to visit, keep the dog on a leash and out of harm's way.

My goal would be to deter his misbehavior with witnesses, not to call in the cops, which is a huge insult, and might provoke him to do worse.

You know what's best, and if you are really afraid of him, do not let him in and report him to the cops. But there is at least one intermediate step you can try.
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Captain if your upstairs tenant is too lazy to housetrain and exercise her dogs then the dogs' quality of life is also not important to her. Keep the dogs and kick out the tenant.
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ROFL! So true, kazzaa.
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Captain pets are not responsible for how their owners treat them and to be honest an animal is by nature cleaner than us humans. My cat has NEVER once dirtied in the house he uses the litter tray at night and goes out to pee as they dont like to pee in their own territory. Once after a few drinks my poor cat was crying to get out of my bedroom and i didnt hear him until it was too late he peed onn my floor THEN pulled my towel down from the radiator and mopped up! A little pet! today im stressed and smell of BO my cat smells better than me I was amazed on how clean they are. If you own a pet and they are not trained to toilet its not their fault they learn from their mothers or the owners so the owners need a good slap having a pet is a privalage and they are loyal company more so than some friends they should be treated with respect.
Dogs have masters cats have staff!!!!! LOL
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He WHAT???

Death's too good for him.

In the UK he could be prosecuted: I'd have the RSPCA onto him so fast it'd make his head swim. I know we're a bit nuts, but I'm pretty sure there's a similar mainstream cruelty prevention lobby in the US - contact them for advice.

My Texan psychotherapist friend would also be quick to point out that sadistic cruelty to animals is often an indicator of quite severe psychiatric disorders. How is your brother's behaviour towards your vulnerable father? I'd be worried.
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BTW, rabbits and cats are great for the blood pressure. Doctors recommend them. My new rabbit sleeps under my bed. That's funny. I think he has an idea about keeping friends close and enemies closer. Not sure which one I am to him.
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Yes, kazzaa. I have a new rabbit. I had to have my elder buns put down when they became too ill. It has been a lonely last three months without them, so I brought in a rescue. And quite the handful he is! Rabbits are, like cats, naturally clean. Only neglected ones in cages will be filthy. My new rabbit is young, though, so I have to make sure he doesn't destroy the house with his teeth -- bad rabbit habit.
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Your brother is a sociopath. Get the recording and file charges of animal abuse and also get a restraining order from your brother from entering your home. He wants to see your father, make it away from your home and supervised. Anyone that abuses an animal will think nothing about abusing a human being. Most serial killers start out harming animals then move on to people.
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Jessebelle so cute you have a rabbit!! i had one years ago but he bit me and ate all my sindy dolls i had him in my bedroom hopping around all night! I was only 9yrs old and didnt really know how to care for him so I gave him to a neighbour who built a pen for him. He was jet black with big floppy ears!
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Your brother is mentally ill, yes? Are you in touch with the psychiatrist who is treating him?
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So many cases here in Ireland of animal abuse its just makes my blood boil I cant even read an article about this without crying and I feel just as strongly about child abuse and elder abuse THUGS thats all they are. I would be very worried about someone who hurts an animal if you read about serial killers they started off hurting animals at a younger age.
My friends best friend met a guy and was getting married to him my friend saw him kick her dog one day she told her friend but her friend didnt believe her and said she was just jealous. My friend couldnt go to the wedding and they never spoke again years later she heard that he beat her and her kids and they split up. There is something very wrong with someone who kicks an animal.
I would be very wary of leaving him on his own with your dad.
Im cuddling my cat right now and would do time to anyone who hurt him if my brother kicked my cat I would report him and have him charged with animal abuse.
When my mum passes I will become more involved with animal rescue and campaign here to make it a prison offence to hurt an animal its got so bad here and still no laws.
In australia you can pay a huge fine and even go to jail and thats the way it should be everywhere I think that anyone who hurts an animal should be ordered to see a shrink and be assessed mentally.
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grrrrrr !!
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I can understand your fear of your brother. As you call yourself Granny I assume you are not in your prime or a black belt either so collect the evidence and call the police or SPCA and press charges. If Dad wants to see your brother have a third party take him to a public place so they can visit. No way should he set foot in your house again. I too am an animal lover but do not tolerate bad behavior. Capt I would show your tenant the door too. I have had more than my share of tenants and their out of control animals. For a start I don't permit animals but have allowed a few. One family even had a rabbit caged in the dining room as I found out when I had to clean the filth they left behind. I have had everything from horses to mice ( no rats or snakes though thank you) my daughter is a veterinarian and she tolerates nothing. She also has the most well behaved little boy you could wish to meet.
Capt I know your bark is worse than your bite. Hope Aunt Edna appreciates your visits as I am sure she does if you can make her laugh
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see what i mean
people are ridiculously passionate about their pets. I wouldnt mistreat an animal either but i wouldnt have them on the dining table or have them bullying visitors. my renter upstairs has two nasty dogs in the house just destroying the place with their filth. shes too lazy to housebreak them. she wont part with at least one of them so obviously their QOL is more important than mine. then she wants me to hook her up a landline thru my satellite. right.. im going to kick her and her menagerie out instead.
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Tell your brother you will not tolerate his bad behavior toward your dog or any other living being. Then take dad to the front room to visit with your brother and put the dog on a leash with you or gate the dog in adjacent room or kitchen with you. Protect the pet; your brothers an ass to abuse your dog to get under your skin.
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Don't deprive Dad of seeing his son ... but make sure it is not in your home. And always have a responsible person with them.
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If anyone kicked my rabbit on purpose he would be out the door THEN and never allowed back in. The kicker would get off easier if he kicked me. If the kicker threatened to cause grief, I would just roll my eyes. Like really, who cares? A pet should not have to tolerate being kicked in its own home. I wouldn't bother to get the law involved, since I am the law in my house.
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Kick your brother. I am not an animal "lover" in that I do not want to care, cuddle or certainly sleep with one. I would NEVER hurt an animal. No excuse.
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Captain you'd never set foot on my property let alone in my home! Granny charge him with animal abuse, get a restraining order and never let the s.o.b. in again. Anyone who deliberately hurts anyone or anything defenceless needs to be shot!
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Get an Order of Protection against him. If he kicks the dog, you'll be next.
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