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I took my mom out of a nursing home and placed her with my brother. We all wanted it. The state showed up to check on my mother. Hes accusing me of calling. I did not call anyone. He says I lost phone rights with my mom because I wont admit to it . I cant see my mother or talk to her over something I didn't even do. How can I prove to him I didn't do it. All my calls are dead ends so far. If I could find the person that came out they can let him know I didn't do it. I really need help. Im missing precious moments with my mom. Someone please help me. This drama is not healthy for my mom. Shes at her happiest when she gets to see all her children. I know this is killing her just as it is me.

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If your brother needs proof, then it makes sense to have the state rep confirm that you were not the one to call in a complaint or request a visit. However, the bigger point is that it is irrelevant who called. The point is wanting to confirm that your mom is ok and that whoever called was doing so out of concern for her. Help your brother refocus on the priority -- your mom's happiness. Good luck!
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Ummmm i 100% sure once a family removes a person from a NH the state implenents a home visit just to make sure the patient is being cared for properly....i really dont think anyone called....ask the state to confirm this is their policy im sure u will find this to be the norm.
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Wow. You all have such big hearts. First I want to thank everyone for your overwhelming support. I am going to write down every place you all told me to call. I have been calling numbers for days. And they give me more numbers to call. No luck yet. I will continue this to get to the bottom of it all. I certainly want to know why they came out and if someone did call them. The nursing home did say that they did not request a visit from the state. APS said there was no report made. APS of economic services told me because she is bed ridden she must have a phone by her at all times or she becomes a vulnerable adult. Yes she does ask to see me. I want you all to know that I sent her flowers. And every time I send her flowers I call to here her voice cause she gets so excited. That has been our thing for years. Ive been calling for a couple of days with no answer throughout each day. After the flower email came to me with confirmation of delivery I called and she answered. That was after my post. I love her. I want you all to know I will continue this because why is he getting so mad someone is checking out her living situation. What does he have to hide. Thank you so much for pointing that out. Your right it isnt about proving my innocence. Its about finding out the reason they came out. I have alot of numbers to call and I appreciate everyone of them. Sincerely jeannie
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He has every right to complete privacy in his own home. So sad that you cannot make him change his mind.
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This is so mean to say the least!... I would pursue an elderlaw attny or 3rd party to mediate... Any other suggestions out there?... There has to be a way for her to visit her mother.
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If he is denying access to your mother than perhaps he should have been checked on because he may deny her other things? Does he have power of attorney? Does she have dementia? Call your local eldercare office and get advice.
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I have been down this road and I would say that your brother no longer has the right of absolute privacy in his mom the moment he took your mother into his care. He does not legally have the right to prevent you from speaking to or seeing your mother, but you may need to contact an elder attorney for assistance in this matter. Generally, contact from an attorney will correct this but you should be prepared to go to court to ensure that your rights to see your mother are not being circumvented and that there is not deeper reasons to why your brother is preventing you access to her.
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If the state agency visited, they will not disclose who called, period. Your brother is controlling and using this as an excuse to prohibit your contact with your mother. Either contact an attorney or try and reason with him. Who has power of attorney for your mother? You could file a petition with your court which handles family matters to see if a resolution can be made. I had a similar situation with my four siblings, but I put it in court and got visitations.
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Does your brother have court ordered guardianship? If so, you should have been contacted by The Court of Probate as an "interested party" and given the right to attend and state any objections. It would have been up to your brother to list you on the paperwork that he submitted to the court when he applied for guardianship. If you did nt receive notice, there are free elderly law attorneys and they will help you in your mothers best interest.
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I do have a common experience in that my sister is not allowed to visit when we are not present. It is our home whereby we have housed our Mother and it is not free for others to visit willy-nilly. It is amazing how they wish to visit when you're not home and even more amazing that they never visited when they had their own place.
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