Our father said 2 years ago he wanted to change to a democracy.Our brother lives in another state and has not seen our father in over a year. my wife and I moved from another state to take care of our father in his home (we are trying to sell our home in another state). My sister, step sister, my wife and I all live in the state where our father is. My wife and I are the primary care givers and my sister takes our father for part of a day every week to relieve my wife and I. Our brother refuses to step down from his position. We are upset with him for a number of different things. His secrecy is a big one. He liquidated our fathers stock about $90K and loaned his company the money with a 10% return (monthly pymts) but he didn't ask or tell anyone until after the fact. Our father was diagnosed with moderate dimentia over 2 years ago. My father told me about 2 years ago that he made a mistake in allowing only our brother to make all these decisions and he doesn't remember agreeing to allow my brother to sell his stock. My brother is pushing for another doctor visit (diagnosis) and says that it is for the hospice preparation (he says "eventually, so everything will be in place") although dad, who's 87 still gets around okay. We try to walk with him almost everyday. My father and I worked together for along time and he and I have always been very close. I don't know what my brothers motive might be? No one has guardianship for our father as of yet. We all have medical POA. But the oldest does many things without discussing anything w/anybody. We don't have a great deal of money and we don't really know what to do. He even told the Hospice people to not contact us and to only go through him, (but we're the primary care givers). Our father has some real estate (rental properties and of course his house/residence). We all just want our brother to be fair and step down. The rest of us believe that we can all amicably work out most any differences and none of us want to "run the show". Our brother also admitted that he made mistakes either with the $90K stock money or the $45-50K liquid money that he used renovating our fathers rental propeties. He dictates, delagates and treats us like employees. Hires people we don't want for work we don't need. What are some if any legal options that we have? Would it help if we had guardianship? Right now we have very little money as I've just started a business a few months ago, and while it looks good it is still going to take a little longer to stabalize.financially. In the meantime dad's memory and physically is slowing down significantly. Because of all these games and fighting with our brother is taking a toll on us and our 14 year old son who lives with we are considering whether it might just be better have dad in a home? We don't know what we should do? But we also would like to have some normalcy in our lives as well. Caring for my father is tuff enough for my wife and son, but having to deal with my double standard brother is the part that makes this unbearable! Is there any legal action that can be taken? If we were guardians for my father would we have any more influence on a legal position and how does that affect the Trust? Isn't the trust the final word? Our brother even had the gall to ask our father "if he passed away before he finished paying all the loan payments, could our brother just write off paying it back and it would just essentially become a personal loan to my brother, but waived in the event of our fathers death. We are in the state of Oklahoma if that helps you to know our rights any better. Our brother is pushing so hard for this hospice help and before our father is even eligible. By the way our father would not legally be able to change anything as he would be evalued as incompetent in these legal matters and could not change anything, and our brother certainly does not want to change anything. He already has and does make unilateral decisions without consulting anyone and we're tired of it. If there were any emergency, dads budget is so tight (SS) that he would be in a real hurt.
Thank you for your help in any way,