Never left home brother is coercing Mom into giving him money for his habits through bullying techniques and verbal abuse. Any advice?

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She is trapped. She does not want to be alone so he gets his way. She is reaching out for help thru as clandestine ways she can for he will make her life a h*ll if she isnt passive and supporting . he is a bully. he will not go away nor will she want him to. my sister and i support ourselves and give her money to help her. if the authorities came for a welfare check she would not tell them about his abuse. all she does is cry and she has to whisper on the phone. what can i do ? i live 1500 miles away and he scares me too.

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Look into OPTIONS for your mom and present them to her.

Personally, I think you're beating your head against the wall. You're providing an outlet for your mom's frustrations and taking them right to heart. She's enabled her son for YEARS. She tells you she doesn't want to be alone. Well, there's a price she's paying for that companionship. It sounds to me as though she's content to pay it.
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Do you like being used? Because frankly your mother and brother are using you as a cash cow. Stop paying. Encourage your sister, too, to stop paying.

Should the situation turn nasty - perhaps you have your mother on the phone weeping about a bill she can't pay with your brother in the background chipping in his ugly, threatening remarks - you, at your safe geographical distance, explain that you will not pay a bill for which you are not liable, then you hang up. Then you put the facts - the amount, what the bill was, what was actually said during the conversation and by whom to whom, the date and time - down in writing. Once you have a small series of these incident reports in hand, you involve the authorities.

Or, you continue to subsidise your mother's helplessness, your brother's treatment of her, and your own and your sister's futile anxiety. It's up to you.
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I would have called the police
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I repeat; CALL HER DOCTOR!
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ok mom owns home, put us three kids on deed also. so all are legal owners. sis lives in same town. bro does odd jobs here and there. mom is 84 , healthy, one blind eye, slowly noticing her dementia getting more frequent, but when 'shocked' into it remembers fine. want to get financial poa before its too late for her to consent, but dont knpow how to get her to agree. bro dont ever pay attention unless his ear perks up and we(sis and i) are doing something to try and help her somehow. when she calls wanting money for a bill i say let me pay over the phone but she wont. no more money getting sent to her after this. she wont go anywhere with me for a vacation. if bro gets arrested shell end up paying all his fines etc. i'm worried shell be arguing with him and have a episode that causes her a major health event...every time the phone rings...........
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First, are you sure? Is mom possibly exaggerating or fabricating anything? What does your brother say about Mom if he speaks to you?

Are you sure about your brother's habits? Are they criminal? Hire a private detective and see if there is enough evidence to get him arrested, go in and rescue Mom, and/or get a restraining order. Or, just go in and rescue Mom. Cut off the funds to brother if he can bully you into staying in the home legally somehow. Because, unfortunately, vegaslady has a point: you can't subsidize and rescue from this situation at the same time.
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You get power of attorney over mom and handle her finances and living situation. Sorry, there is no dipping your toe in the water - you've got to dive in!
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So do you actually have a question? You and sister are supporting this dysfunctional situation financially and emotionally by quivering from afar not willing to do anything. She doesn't want to stop living with him, so you are supposed to finance this choice? Okay, keep paying for it and expect the situation to stay the same. If you want something to change, what outcome do you want? If you know, then you can develop a plan. Or you can ignore the situation, wait for word of a crisis for mom and then decide if you want to help out then. You have decide what outcome you want here.
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Are you in touch with or know Mom's doctor? Contact him/her and explain what you think is going on. Does mom have dementia? Sounds like you have a long history with your brother; can you talk more about that? If you think mom is being abused, you need to call police in her area and explain to them that she is in fear.
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Okay, I should gather thoughts first, then write..Questions:
Does Mom have Dementia or other mental disabilities, or physical disabilities. When I mention mental, I don't mean brother-yet.
How far away does your sister live from you or her?
Is it possible to move Mom closer to you or sister, or move in with either of you?
Does your brother work? It sounds like he may not be employed.
My friend is going through the same thing. Brother moves he and mother around from one long stay hotel to the next every 90 days? It sounds like they are subsidized boarding....
He will not allow any member to talk with her, and she is afraid to. My friend says she is no longer using her energy to look for her since Mom is allowing this to happen. Then she won't open the door if they do find her. Friend's fiance said he saw bro and Ma walking to store one day, but didn't approach them.
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