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They won't cooperate. Do we report this to the DMV (we're in California) or call the cops? Mom is being held prisoner in her own home. We got the disabled placard so we could take her to her appointments, shopping, etc, and have always kept it in her home in a place where anyone that was driving mom could find it. BIL says it's his now because he started taking mom to appointments a few months ago. The jerk deserves more than just a fine and mom wants to get out of the house. When 2 of us are with mom, it's not a problem - one person gets out with her and waits while the other parks and catches up. No big deal. But it's rare mom has 2 people visiting at the same time. If we had POA, we'd just cancel it and get another.

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What great advice from everyone. I had one for my mom, and since she could no longer drive, I kept in my car because I was the only one who took her anywhere. When she wasn't with me, I put it in the glove compartment. I was glad to have it when it was NECESSARY, so that we could park where it was good for her. I can't imagine anyone using it if they didn't need it. That's taking up space for someone who was legitimately in need. By reporting this, hopefully it will cure BIL of doing it again! Maybe he'll think twice - if he gets a clue! Maybe he just doesn't care. Good luck with this.
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You can help mom apply for a replacement placard. If he uses it without mom & he is caught using it, he will receive a fine. It should be with mom so anyone taking her out will have access to it. What does mom think about the BIL taking her placard? Is she happy with her POA? The placards make it easier for the disabled to enjoy community events, including shopping. Maybe you can schedule a family meeting and let him know you find it difficult taking mom out without the placard. Good luck
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Note that we did have to give Karma a wee bit of a nudge...
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See there is karma
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I love it!
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Justice! :)
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Tee hee! Chuckle chuckle. I have to laugh. Reported mom's placard stolen last week. I asked a friend that works near BIL to keep an eye out to see if he's using the placard. Just got the phone call I waiting for: Yup, he used it and didn't have mom with him and had no idea about needing the additional paper document that must be carried in the vehicle. Friend called parking enforcement and had his $50k+ Mercedes towed away a few minutes ago. Not just the $700 ticket. He has to pay impound fees, too, and they didn't use a flatbed tow. BIL came out screaming and yelling at the parking officer. They're still out there right now, probably trying to decide if he should be arrested for having the stolen property. What an idiot! So that part of this has been taken care of. Now we just need to make sure he doesn't get his hands on the replacement.
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I would report this in person to the DMV. This is really wrong. When I got my placard for myself, they told me that it is common for these to be stolen and to safeguard mine, which I do.
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No, I live part time with mom, have been trying to get sister to provide care for over a year. Now I'm no longer in a position to continue watching out for mom. Lost my sister a very long, long time ago, so fear of losing her again by taking legal action isn't an issue for me. Don't have the resources to do that myself and I'm finding that APS, the police, etc, don't have the resources to even check it out, which is why they recommended taking mom to an ER, asking for protective custody, and forcing a judge to get involved, which everyone tells me wouldn't be good, either.
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I'm so sorry to hear that. If you are able to do without both sister and brother in laws help, and if you can get evidence that she had dementia when the POA was changed, you can bring them up on charges. You'd be surprised. My mom's oncologist noted her increasing forgetfulness in her medical records. If there's anything like that, you nay be able to use it. Talk to a lawyer. I'm not too familiar, but I believe that exerting that kind of influence over a person with dementia is illegal. You can challenge the POA but you would have to be ready to lose your sister. This is hard, and sad. Does your mom live alone?
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No, sister tricked mom's attorney into changing her POA AFTER mom had already exhibited signs of dementia and had been diagnosed -- she withheld that info from the lawyer. Still trying to see if we have any chance of undoing that (very slim, even though that POA is clearly invalid). No chance of changing it now -- mom is too far gone already to understand much.
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Is your mom competent enough to change who her POA is?
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NO, he is not kind to her; just the opposite: rude, abusive and mean -- exhibits absolutely no patience with her, screaming and yelling at her, etc. He is being forced by his wife (my sister) to take mom to medical appointments. Sister has POA but refuses to do anything with or for mom -- she dumps it all on her husband. His resentment shows in every interaction. Mom never liked him much; has a history of cocaine addiction. She is terrified of him and at this point no longer recognizes him as her son-in-law. Very sad.
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Report it stolen so a new one can be sent. So your bil took it because he drives your mom around, and he won't give it someone else to drive her around? That makes no sense. Is he kind to your mother? How is it that he ended up driving her around? Maybe someone else should drive her around. Tell him his services are no longer needed, take the placard, and you drive her around.
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If you still need this BIL to help you I would just call DMV tell them it is lost and how to go about getting a new one. Reporting it stolen is the right thing to do, however, if I have this saying right it would be like cutting off your nose to spite your face.
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Keep the placard with you! lol You know you wont use it if she's not with you. That irks me when I see young kids using grandmas card to run into the store. Or the idiots who park in the space between that's for wheelchairs. My son is in a wheelchair and that's happened to us a few times.

My father in laws wife used his at Christmastime because the parking lot was so packed. She was questioned by mall security and asked for ID, he gave her a warning and told her all the hassle he would have to go through to get it back. Lesson learned.

Since he's being a jerk - I would try to get him busted after you get the replacement.
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I believe we are talking about a hang tag here, not pkates. Different issuing authority , different regs.
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Oh you are right Pam but we both have handicapped tags but do use the spaces with each others cars. on our own so technically are breaking the law because we are not using our own tags. Not worth worrying about anyway.
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If the person not on the tags does not park in a handicapped space I think you are OK Veronica!. daughter bought a handicapped condo so her grands could visit her, and it was available. She gets a handicapped spot because her Condo is handicapped,, she is not. And she NEVER parks in that spot. She leaves it for us or visitors, and parks in her other spot or the visitor area. Maybe I raised her right?
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Veronica, I have that same problem here where I live, finding an open handicapped parking space for my parents. One medical building they frequent, I think out of the 6 years we been going there, I parked only once in a space :(

So that means I have to leave them on the walk-way by themselves, and hope the wind doesn't topple them over while I look for a place to park :P

thezookeeper, I can see the problem when different family members are helping the parent. I know many a time I have driven off with Dad in my vehicle and totally forgot to get the plaque card out of Dad's car. Hopefully the DMV can give you a duplicate.
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In NYS you have to have a Dr certify you need a placard or plates (your choice) but the plates cost $$s and of course can only be used on one car. It is illegal to park in a handicapped space using the tag unless the person for whom the tag was issued is using the car. Our tags are issued by the town clerk for the place in which we pay our taxes and usually last five years. I do have a tag and have never been asked to identify myself. Hubby has plates and we do use each others cars so I guess we are technically breaking the law. Hubby wants me to get plates but I can remember the number on my current plates. Trying to find an empty handicapped space is the real problem especially in hospital parking lots. Agree you should turn BIL into whoever issued the tag or the police.
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Geez... My parents have 2 and I have 2, one in every car. When my daughter borrowed the parents sweet ride for 2 weeks she did not even think to use the one in the car.. And she lives in a handicapped Condo with a dedicated space! Your BIL is a piece of crap.. people need this for real problems. call the DMV and report him and his tag number as having taken it without permission., and he will not return it.
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You don't give it to him.
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Keep the placard locked up in your own car.
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I assume he's using it for himself, so the idea about staking him out to see if he's using it when mom isn't with him and calling parking enforcement for a bust, just may be the best advice. I believe the fine is over $700. He's called parking enforcement to have my trailer ticketed in the past, so turn-about is fair-play. In California, you DO need to keep the identification certificate that is issued with the placard in the vehicle and it cannot be used if the disabled person is not being transported. I am pretty sure he doesn't realize this, either. Mom used to keep a reduced copy of it in her wallet, but she doesn't always take it with her and the most recent version was not copied for her -- it was just filed away in a box in mom's garage! I just found it. I've had a copy in my car since I applied for the placard 15 years ago. Taking it to DMV to report the placard lost or stolen. Now how do I keep BIL from taking the new one when it arrives?
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Report it to the state licensing division. They are very strict about these being used correctly.
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From what I read online about the CA DMV about the placard is that you can get a replacement placard for a lost or stolen one by doing the application process for one again. I didn't see anything about a duplicate. I'm not sure that you even need a POA to request a replacement card. Go online to the CA DMV and check out what the site says about getting a replacement card.

My wife had one for her car and we have another one for my car for when she is riding with me. The card comes with a registration card that shows it is for her in her name. We leave the registration card in the glove compartment and the placard in the car to be hung on the rear view mirror after the car is parked. It is not a good idea to drive with it hanging from the rear view mirror for it blocks the driver's view.

From what I read online, the paperwork about the handicapped parking placard is to go with the person for whom it is for along with the placard to whatever vehicle they are riding in. In other words, when mom rides with BIL, the registration card that came along with the placard needs to be in the vehicle.

It is ridiculous for BIL to hang on to the card because he started taking mom to appointments a few months ago. Has he taken her to any appointments lately? Is he using her card for his own benefit? Does he know that without the registration card saying who the placard is for it is not valid.
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When my dad was issued a placard for mom, the placard had mom's name written on it. I guess the placard in CA is different? So, if my dad was driving without mom, he wouldn't be able to use it because mom's not there. He would be fined and/or his car towed. But, yes, I think you need to report it to DMV. Then it's their decision to allow it or not. If I was vengeful, I'd figure out where BIL goes and parks in the handicap, then call anonymously of his illegal parking. I think if he gets ticketed several times, the cops will catch on, and perhaps confiscate the placard? Or do you have a Disability senior citizen program/division there? You can give them a call and ask for their advice. Here on island, they have done some heavy ad campaign about illegally parking in the handicap parking. They're so successful, I don't see much abuses on it like before.
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The placard should be kept with your mother. Tell BIL you're sorry if that's inconvenient for him, but that's how it is.

Babalou's idea of ringing the issuers and asking their advice is a good one: since the placard is for use by your mother and nobody else, it's just - just - possible they might consider supplying a duplicate provided that both are being used responsibly. I take your BIL is not being such a worm as to use it when he isn't accompanying your mother?
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I would call the issuing authority and ask them what to do. They will probably mail you a new one. What a lowlife.
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