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Family trust dispute.to ente Following our mother's death my brother hit our dad up for a large sum of money and when he didn't get it, he would not permit our father r his home, leaving the 24/7 caregiving in my hands. Our father was at risk of injury if he was to fall, so he needed to have someone around for safety. Now my brother is claiming undue influence and lack of capacity in an attempt to overturn our father's decision to change the amount he wished to give my brother.

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Yes we have something like that here "they will lose everything", but ours was put in by a then person who put himself in charge (his mother would never go to a lawyer on her own, doesn't know enough English to know what she signs and can only read about a 2nd grade level) who doesn't even know know how to caregive and had her house sold so that her assets were made liquid so you could not get compensated for caregiving, with no idea what that means.

I think there should be laws against this stuff, people (parents) do not always know what they are doing and the parents should pay, the person who they depend on for caregiving, even if it is a family member...
some of us were concerned friends of the family...I am still are not getting paid, and it does not make any sense to me...
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My parents Trust states that if anyone tries to fight what their wishes are, they will lose EVERYTHING! It shocked me when I first read it, but I guess the lawyer who made it out, told them to put that in. Basically they were trying to be fair and split everything three ways, what they did not take into account was their caregiving, who was going to perform it and should that person be paid for it or at least given greater consideration in the Trust. I have cared for both of them and now just Mom with zero compensation for over 10 years total. I did not mind when I had an income but now, it has become frightening and I really need some assistance myself. No one wants to pay me anything from the estate, I have given care for free for so long, that they want it to remain the same....it keeps their inheritance in tact! (But at my expense)
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One more comment. HE is the one who did not get the large sum of money and HE is the one threatening to go get a lawyer! Does he have the cash to do that? Perhaps he is blowing smoke. We have a relative like this. As I said, try not to stress about it and just consult someone yourself. It is upsetting that family will show their preverbal you-know-whats but money seems to have that effect on some people.
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This kind of stuff is unfortunately routine when it comes to families and money. Attorneys have heard it all before. You had to do what you had to do. The good news is that he didn't give your brother that money so hopefully there is still some there. If you need to consult a lawyer for your dad and yourself, then do it. You sound as if what you did is on the up and up and not so much your brother. Truth will stand the light of day.
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You do not say whether this is a revocable or irrevocable trust. Let your brother spend his money hiring an attorney, but if your father is still of sound mind, all you do is get a notarized affidavit from him stating his wishes. Aren't families fun when it comes to money? No parent expects dueling children, but that is what can happen. Sad, isn't it?
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Much depends on what your mother's Will said. If she left it to dad, he can fiddle it all away at the nearest casino if he wants to. Any son who persecutes his own family over money brings a great curse on himself. He will be the last person the judge would ever appoint as a conservator. Sic semper tyrannis.
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Your father probably did have undue influence, but that was only because you were there and your brother wasn't. Your brother will probably have a difficult time overturning the final wishes of your father. I'm sorry you are having to go through this. It is sad at a time people should be drawing together that money pulls them apart.
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