my question is my mom tells me that she doesnt remember doing this and too get it changed straight away as he doesnt do anything for her its not like he needs the money i am not working now and barely able too pay the bills my daughter and i when i was working she was there everyday taking online too finish her school as she dropped out when my dad had a aneurism in the brain and it burst causing him too have short term memory.. so this money would help me take her back too bury her beside my dad in scotland other wise i dont know what i will do can anyone give me any advice on how too change this back

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She should be able to change this back. People change beneficiaries on insurance policies frequently. If you need help from an elder law attorney, ask for help. If she has dementia, you may have to apply for guardianship. An attorney should be able to help you in a consultation visit - many give the first one free.
Good luck,
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the only life insurance i know of that is irrevocable is a prepaid burial, so if i were you i would check further into that unless that is what she has and if that is, it only covers burial, he would get nothing
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I would contact the insurance company, get a copy of the policy she signed over to her son but now wishes to reverse. Have her make a request to reverse
it back to her name. Then contact a lawyer to get a POA to take care of her health and financial needs if she becomes unable to do so. There may or may not be enough in the insurance policy to bury our mom with you dad overseas. If you don't have the funds and she doesn't either. Perhaps the brother if he has more assets would step up to honor his parents' desire to be buried together, otherwise you may need to find a cemetery nearby. In the end, while it is there request, it really isn't that pivotal. My parents are not buried in a cemetery with their family line but in a cemetery nearby. There is a small bit of comfort in being able to visit the cemetery after their passing.

Good Luck.
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Yes get a copy of the policy, and only the 'owner' can designate the 'beneficiary',
there is a simple form to change it.

Also be aware: the CASH VALUE of an insurance policy can become a MEDICAID asset.... The Funeral Trust (amount varies by state), is MEDICAID EXEMPT, and does not have be arranged at a Funeral home, which then gives you portability, and the funeral home is not privy to 'budget', In Georgia $10,000 per person, including children, can be used as a PrePlan or Crisis planning tool, which immediately qualifies as 'spend down'
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Do Not Jump into Guardianship on a notion. Understand the restrictions it will impose. Often a good Durable POA may preemptively make a guardianship unnecessary ...
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There is no information your profile or in your question about your moms age what's wrong with her. Did your brother get your mom to change who was the beneficiary on her life insurance? Are you thinking its a revocable because perhaps she's been declared with dementia? Incompetent or impaired people cannot sign legal documents. Why did your brother do this, and when? IF and I say IF this is the case, the only way I know if you can change anything is through court. If your brother had your mom signing when she was incompetent or used to influence on her to change her wishes, judges can choose to set aside documents in signatures. But it's costly to go to court and you need an elder specialist lawyer. Not the best news. Very difficult for you and your situation and actually cheating you and your daughter out of the assistance you may later need to get back to your life after caretaking.
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The owner of the policy is the only person who can change the beneficiary. If she was the owner and changed the ownership to him, she would have to prove incompetence or under duress when she changed it. I'd have her contact the insurance company. If she is still the owner and competent, she can change the beneficiary to whomever she wants.
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What was the purpose of making this change? Was mom legally competent? Did family members apply undue influence on mom? Did mom consult an elder law attorney before she made the changer? If it was to qualify for Medicaid, to avoid lack of clarity and avoid disputes, I recommend any transfers be made into a trust and not to an individual family member. Moreover the beneficiary designation need not be made only to one person only.
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I DONT REALLY UNDERSTAND THE QUESTION BUT IRREVoCABLE means you can't change it but if your mother dosent remember signing it you can say dhe is imcompetent or your bother used under handed wats to have her sign the paper..I would call the atty r hat made the document abd tell him your mom did not realize what she doing and if you don't like his answer get your own atty. Or call the state and tell them there is fraud possibly going on and how do you fix it. Also how old is your mom???? Most attys require a compentancy test before you can sign anything..I know my atty is making mom go to a doctor BEFORE SHE SIGNS ANTHING. IF SHE IS ELDERLY THAT IS THE PROPER WAY TO DO THIS?
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It was kinda difficult to understand your question as stated, for me.
==INSURANCE is not usually "irrevocable".
Did you really mean to say "Irrevocable Trust"?
That is a different matter.

Insurance beneficiaries are changed all the time--easy, no cost.
We've simply gone to the local agent for whatever company is holding the insurance, & signed forms to change who the beneficiaries are.

Insurance companies will also notify holders of policies, if they think adult children should become holders of their own policies---in our family, both our adult kids have personal problems that make them holding their own life insurance a problem, so we just keep them as they were originally written, us owning the policies.

But if you are really talking about an "Irrevocable Trust",
in which all Mom's Estate value is placed [real estate, bank accounts, investments, etc.],
THAT can be a costly document to change
--but not impossible, either.

It sounds like you need a "Durable Power of Attorney" though
--whether that is yourself, or a 3rd party,
someone needs to do this for your Mom.
Get hooked up with agencies & people who can help you do that.
Your local Area Agency on Aging might be a good place to start.

As mentioned above, though, Life Insurance is an Asset.
IF someone gets State assistance, State WILL do whatever they can to get paid back for their assistance.

Some States go to extreme lengths to claim assets:
One old couple we knew, who lived in an RV [basically almost homeless],
both disabled, both on SSI, both very sick.
He had previous marriages; his children were all adults now, nearly retirement age themselves.
Yet, CA pursued him for "back child support", since one of his Ex-wives had received State Aid while their kids were in grade school--several DECADES BACK!!!
The State of CA attached his Social Security Check---took nearly all of it, every month.
Since he was now married again, they also tried to take his current wife's SSI check, too.
[[CA allowed ALL debt to be collected on, simultaneously, to the largest amounts monthly--the laws governing debt collection in many States allow this, which can impoverish debtors, cause bankruptcies & growing homelessness. ]]
He died in abject poverty after about 1 year of that.
His widow had to sell the trailer they lived in and find somewhere else to live--with her extremely elderly parents for a time [they were in their late 80's].
This couple was barely living daily.
Even though I tried to tell them they needed to get help to stop the State of CA from doing this, they were unable to deal with it, and just let CA take the money.
It meant both of them lacked proper medicine, proper housing, proper food.
It also meant they had to tap the State of WA for assistance.

So how do collection laws help, really, when one State is allowed to cause debt to another State via Welfare liens? That does not even consider the cost to families in other ways.

IF a STATE claims assets to repay the State for Welfare use, a family can contest that claim.
The family needs to be able to show why/how the State should cease and desist taking assets.
The family will need legal help.

Good luck!
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