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Brother is now taking control over mums care mum may now give him POA but his wife is a golddigger and was kicked out of house for stealing mums money my friend says we can protest for these reasons?? I just want to protect mum from her claws.

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Judge not, folks - this is a tremendous upheaval for someone, regardless, and if they are not posting their best posts right now, it would reflect the sheer terror of an unknown future as well as the sense of injustice. The truth will out.
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kazzaa, I've tried to stay neutral and just report posts that are not helpful to the group. I have gotten to the point that I feel you are abusing the good will of this group. I hope you will take this opportunity to get back on your feet and leave your family and this group in peace. Your problems go beyond the scope of caregiving and I don't think anybody could offer any better advice than has already been given -- move on, get a job and take care of yourself. And please stop disrupting threads in the group. There are people posting that get drowned out in all the drama. I now feel the Dysfunctional Family thread is ruined -- quite an accomplishment, since it has lasted a few years now. I hope people will revive it and make it useful again.
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I sleep well because I love my mother and my mother loves me and I know down to the depths of my soul that being with Mom now is where God wants me.I sleep well because I know I am a good, loving, thoughtful and generous person. I'm sure not perfect, but my heart is full of love, not hate.
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I do not sleep very well mom is usually up 3 times a night...you see, she hallucinates and thinks someone is out to kill her. My 13 year old dog sleeps with her every night. She protects her.

Life is hard enough.... I try t make my mother's life enjoyable...so far, she's a happy camper.
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kaazzaa, what is it you want with this post? If your mother is competent, she can assign anyone she wants to be her POA. Didn't you say that a psychiatrist declared that she doesn't even have dementia? I would think finding her to be incompetent would be hard. So, who would you protest to? She can make her own decision. You don't have to like it, but that is the way it is.

But based on previous posts I would think you would like it. Don't you want to be free of responsibility for her?

Get on with your own life now. And best wishes to you!
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ff i lost my password so i dont know who i am anymore on here had to sign in a few times hard to keep your head for passwords!!!
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yes ff they or she is one in the same.
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Is Kaazzaa the same writer as Kazzaa? These are two different screen names.
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Kaz, this is for you. I wish you the best. Take this time to get YOU straight in the head. Leave mom and siblings alone. You will not win.... it is a good time hun... be free
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Kaazza, isn't this the chance you've been hoping for and waiting for and wishing for? To totally get out of the caregiving position? Why do you care that your brother's wife is a golddigger? There apparently hasn't been enough gold to have outsiders take care of Mom.

If Mom is competent to name a POA, she can name anyone she chooses. And she isn't naming her daughter-in-law. On what grounds could you protest this?

Please, take this opportunity to extricate yourself from this position that has been distressing you for so long.
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THANKS PAM! and yes youre right but my brother wanted to know as he is so worried about this and asked me to ask here!
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Oh, stay my answer. You absolutely can't have it both ways, Kaz. If mom was too dementia'd to "throw you out," as Jeanette remembers, then she's most certainly too dementia'd to sign a new one.

If you are fighting all of your siblings, then there most definitely IS something amiss.

What are your motives, Kaz? Were you staying at her home rent free in exchange for care giving mom either didn't want or need? Were you using her money as your own? I don't know the ins-and-outs, but if all of your siblings are united in this newest decision? You need to back off.

And if you're trying to convince her doctors that she has dementia and they don't agree? I'd venture to say you're wrong. There's dementia and there's legal incompetence. Two different animals. If doctors aren't even willing to diagnose dementia, you sure won't get an incompetence diagnosis out of them.

I agree. What am I missing?
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Why would you even protest it? Someone please tell me what I am missing?

HER mother threw her out! She does not want to give her POA!

Kaz, why can't you just let this go and get YOU together? All of your siblings are now there to help. It is no longer up to you. Something is very amiss.. Mum would rather anyone be her POA but you. You haven't been a able to convince all of your mums dr that she has dementia, you haven't convinced your siblings and you've certainly not convinced you mum. Yet YOU claim she has it and when your mum found out you were telling everyone she was nuts.... she tossed you out.

Am I missing something?
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kaazzaa, walk away, and don't look back. You have been through enough and all you got was hellfire and damnation. Wash your hands of it all.
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Encourage mom to name you POA for financial and maybe brother POA for medical, you can split it up.
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Talk to your MOM, not the courts. Tell her what you've told us and see what she says. Even though she has some level of dementia, that does NOT mean she can't make that decision. A doctor explained it to me this way: Maggie, yes, your mom has dementia. She doesn't know what day it is or who's the president. But that absolutely does NOT mean that she doesn't understand IN THE MOMENT, and though she may not remember her decision? She can still make a good one."

Talk to mom. Help her draw up a POA naming someone else if it concerns you. It would me, since I believe that old adage that a woman is often the power behind the throne.
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