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I HAVE NORTH PENN HOSPICE IN LANSDALE, PA . THEY ARE THE PITTS. THEY SHOW UP IN THE MORNING TO WASH HIM. THE AIDE THAT USUALLY COMES IS A MENTAL CASE. SHE LIES ABOUT EVERYTHING AND TRIES TO GET OUT OF COMING BY LYING. BUT ONE TIME WHEN SHE HAD THE SWINE FLU, SHE TRIED TO COME. I AM FIGHTING WITH THEM EVERY WEEK. NOW MY FATHER SHOULD BE IN THE HOSPITAL, BUT THEY FORBID ME TO ADMIT HIM. THEY ARE JUST AFRAID OF LOSING THE MONEY. PLEASE DO NOT USE NORTH PENN HOSPICE IN LANSDALE, PA. 19446
THE EXPECT US TO DO EVERYTHING WHILE THEY GO AWAY. THERE IS JUST SO MUCH THE FAMILY CAN DO BUT THEY CAN'T SEEM TO GET IT THROUGH THEIR THICK STUPID HEADS.
Don't give up on your prayers to change the situation. If you haven't already, consider going to the library or to Barnes and Noble; skim through books on elder care, look for chapters that address how to deal with siblings. You may pick up some practical tips that cause him to have a change of heart--or strike a nerve.
If all else fails, perhaps shaming your brother into taking some responsibility would do the trick. For example, does he have anyone in his life--personal or professional--who would be appalled to learn of the way he's behaving in regard to his mother's care? Sometimes it just takes a little creativity. :-)
Best wishes and God bless you for the love and devotion you have shown to your dear mom!
I told my brother what I needed from him because I want to move, and he just got furious because I've been taking on the support until now, and he thinks I'm 'abandoning the ship' - he said plainly that he will not help, and he can. Why is it I can't have a life too? Just because I'm divorced and don't have children? That means I have to take care of my mother alone? Of course, when I move I will send her financial support, but she will also need someone to see her through. On top of it, she doesn't want to go to a home! I'm feeling so helpless, although I do get support and counseling...it feels like a dead end street....
Why doesn't my retired brother try to at least pitch in on a part-time basis? How do I tell Mom she has to go to assisted living because her sons can't or won't help? How will I handle the possibility Mom will not be able to adjust to assisted living, possibly dying soon after she is moved, leaving me with the guilt that I've failed her? I know this sounds odd, but I have the misfortune of having a mother who is the kindest, most unselfish person I've ever met. If she thought I was exhausted from caring for her (7 years now), she'd feel terrible. If you're anything like me, in-home care isn't going to be enough. I need to give the full responsibility to someone else, not continue to have the responsibility plus the additional concern over strangers coming into my home to help her. That said, here's what I've learned from Senior Services in my area. They can send help for a few hours a week (to help with bathing, etc.), as well as a nurse to check Mom's health (blood pressure, heart, and other things). They do this at no cost, only ask for a donation if you have it but otherwise no pressure on you to give. You may want to check on this in your area. They also mentioned the Passport Program through the Council on Aging. This is tied to Medicaid. My mom is not on Medicaid, but the social worker at Senior Services said it has something to do with how much you have to pay per week for care for your senior. If it is over a certain amount, you may be able to use the Passport Program. For details, just in case I haven't understood it correctly, go to the Council on Aging website. I hope this helps. Good luck to you and take care.