Like many our story is long but I'd appreciate some input on this part of it. Our father is 78 and can no longer live on his own. He has dementia (yet to be officially diagnosed, part of the long story) and has been living in my brother's house receiving care from his wife for about 2 years.
They are burned out and angry with my wife and I for not coming out to help them, give them breaks, and for our lack of participation in all of the work getting my dad out of his house and into theirs. We have small children and were not able to help as much as we or they would have liked, and they are angry with us about that. That's where the long story goes, but I'm presenting it here to show that there is anger and disagreement between us.
My wife and I are ready to start talking about taking over for caring for my dad, but we are not in a position to and are not willing to have him live with us and provide care for him ourselves. We believe that there are assisted living situations available to him where he would receive good care, in many ways probably better than we could provide him ourselves. But my brother disagrees and it sounds like it will turn into a battle if we want to take over for caring for my dad, unless we do it on their terms.
Has anyone else experience this kind of conflict? If so, how did it go, what did you learn, how did you deal with it, etc.? Thanks!