My adopted brother has always had a problem with "getting by" on his own & has a pattern of borrowing money from my parents. My father passed in '04 & left my mom well-off..said brother has never really been an active member of the family, living abroad for years, then in another city. When my father was diagnosed with lung cancer, he & his then wife moved closer to the family with financial help from my parents. After my dad passed, he & the wife divorced & he then took up with a woman 20 yrs his junior w/3 kids..she ended up pregnant & they married after his divorce was final from first wife. As he has never been one to make smart decisions, this whole scenario created a huge financial burden on top of the debt problems he already had. Starting in '08 he has constantly "borrowed" money from my mother to the tune of hundreds of thousands! There is a Promissory Note in place for some of it but this pattern just continues..my mom is of sound mind but this really takes a toll on her as she goes from one minute thinking she is "taking care of his family" to the realization that he is taking advantage of her. Mom has a granny flat on our property & I & my husband to all of the caretaking, maintenance, etc. Since mom moved in with us, my brother has yet to visit or lend a hand (she moved here in '07). Yes, I understand it's her money to do with what she pleases, but we've encountered a couple instances where she has over-gifted the annual allowable amount & we are consulting her accountant regarding this. My issue is that I feel that this borders on elder abuse & I don't know how to or if I should even intervene & what really scares me is when she is gone & he plows through his inheritance & then comes knocking on my door wanting us to support him! This whole thing is a real bone of contention between my mom & I & has really strained our relationship. She has become pretty emotionless regarding the matter & will not discuss it with us unless pushed. Everytime we have the discussion, she says she isn't going to give anymore, that she realizes he is just taking advantage, but a few months later she's passing on thousands to him. I just really don't know what to do anymore & any help/advise would be greatly appreciated.