Don't be mad, be grateful. There is no better way to eliminate APS investigations then to cooperate with the requests. It is making bro look bad. Try to just relax, invite APS into the home and tell/show them anything they may want to see.
I was investigated by APS for financial exploitation. Of course, there was nothing of the sort occurring. When APS completed the investigation, they left the house telling me that the reports they received were nothing but "vindictiveness and spite". Investigator even told me what a great job I was doing and left me with a hug.
Relax! Stressing will impact your care and attitude.
Can you afford a lawyer? Get an unbiased agency in there to evaluate the situation? Get a cease and desist order or restraining order? Because what brother is doing is not good for Mom or you. I am surprised APS hasn't told brother to stop calling them.
Do you have a formal diagnosis of Moms Dementia? A written letter from one or two Drs saying that Mom can no longer make informed decisions because of her Dementia. If not, then get it done. Your POAs are not in effect until she is deemed incompetent unless they are immediate. When APS comes to question her, you have the paperwork showing she is not competent to make decisions concerning her care nor who she does and doesn't want caring for her. She made that decision when she assigned you POA. No agency can base their decisions on what someone suffering from Dementia says. Dementia people are in there own little world. They no longer can reason. They become like small children.
If Mom has money you may want to look into getting guardianship. This means a judge assigning you and you being responsible to the State. Medicaid allows u to use her money. Brother needs to be informed of the court date so he can say why u should not have guardianship. Once a judge assigns u very hard to get revoked. You will have even more control. To the point that you can keep brother from seeing Mom. You will need to eventually have to place her. She cannot live alone.
Is the senior you are caring for capable of changing his or her choice for POA? Because no one ELSE can do it, including APS. Be open and welcoming to APS. Show them good care, show them a fairly organized household. Show them any records and files they ask for, have all your papers organized. Simply tell them that your brother was removed from being POA and you were appointed, that you understand this has upset him. That you will show APS anything they need to see. Would they like coffee, tea, or milk? And on you go. Handle it with QUIET GRACE. With a welcoming heart. With understanding. And it is then unlikely that they will be back. I am familiar with a rather evil sister who called child protective to try to "get at" her sister. They came in, were welcomed. Sat and chatted. Looked about. Talked with the kids. And then went back to Sister quite angry she would even consider calling them. So...................just get that Welcome Matt out. Good luck.
Great advice- 7 times the APS have been at my mom‘s door, the hospital, and every chance he can get to get me in hot soup.
The last time he called the police and that was the straw that broke the camels back. When APS came they were recorded and they suggested that I was mentally and physically abusing my mother and she asked that if I needed a restraining order against her daughter. Indeed that is not someone helping my mother age in place and I did threaten to take them to court if they continue to impede moms care, which is Me. My brother was caught on camera hounding my mother to tell APS that she needs to get me off as POA. The more I read the more I know I’m safe because of durable POA but I am more than mad !!! Thx for advice. APS Was the ones that told me to get the cameras And he has mom concerned about them now and she’s knocking them down. thanks brother
The news for all who have issues with brothers or sisters at the end is to get the "RING" system... doorbell especially ... The only thing is that when my brother comes from afar to visit he teaches my mother how to block the cameras that were installed to help her age in place... the place she wishes to pass on after my dad died there last September. I promised to help mom carry out her wishes. Call authorities for bogus accounts of nothing for his benefit is more work for all of us and her last wishes.
I was investigated by APS for financial exploitation. Of course, there was nothing of the sort occurring. When APS completed the investigation, they left the house telling me that the reports they received were nothing but "vindictiveness and spite". Investigator even told me what a great job I was doing and left me with a hug.
Relax! Stressing will impact your care and attitude.
Can you afford a lawyer? Get an unbiased agency in there to evaluate the situation? Get a cease and desist order or restraining order? Because what brother is doing is not good for Mom or you. I am surprised APS hasn't told brother to stop calling them.
Do you have a formal diagnosis of Moms Dementia? A written letter from one or two Drs saying that Mom can no longer make informed decisions because of her Dementia. If not, then get it done. Your POAs are not in effect until she is deemed incompetent unless they are immediate. When APS comes to question her, you have the paperwork showing she is not competent to make decisions concerning her care nor who she does and doesn't want caring for her. She made that decision when she assigned you POA. No agency can base their decisions on what someone suffering from Dementia says. Dementia people are in there own little world. They no longer can reason. They become like small children.
If Mom has money you may want to look into getting guardianship. This means a judge assigning you and you being responsible to the State. Medicaid allows u to use her money. Brother needs to be informed of the court date so he can say why u should not have guardianship. Once a judge assigns u very hard to get revoked. You will have even more control. To the point that you can keep brother from seeing Mom. You will need to eventually have to place her. She cannot live alone.
Be open and welcoming to APS. Show them good care, show them a fairly organized household. Show them any records and files they ask for, have all your papers organized.
Simply tell them that your brother was removed from being POA and you were appointed, that you understand this has upset him. That you will show APS anything they need to see. Would they like coffee, tea, or milk?
And on you go. Handle it with QUIET GRACE. With a welcoming heart. With understanding. And it is then unlikely that they will be back.
I am familiar with a rather evil sister who called child protective to try to "get at" her sister. They came in, were welcomed. Sat and chatted. Looked about. Talked with the kids. And then went back to Sister quite angry she would even consider calling them.
So...................just get that Welcome Matt out. Good luck.
The last time he called the police and that was the straw that broke the camels back. When APS came they were recorded and they suggested that I was mentally and physically abusing my mother and she asked that if I needed a restraining order against her daughter. Indeed that is not someone helping my mother age in place and I did threaten to take them to court if they continue to impede moms care, which is Me. My brother was caught on camera hounding my mother to tell APS that she needs to get me off as POA. The more I read the more I know I’m safe because of durable POA but I am more than mad !!! Thx for advice. APS Was the ones that told me to get the cameras And he has mom concerned about them now and she’s knocking them down. thanks brother