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He is almost 94 and has lived with me and my husband for 8 years. (God bless my husband). My worthless brother who lives 2 hours away visits 1-2 times a year, doesn't help at all and doesn't share in any expenses not covered by my father Social Security. The only thing left in his estate is a small amount of life insurance with some cash value.(not much) question is how can I get the $12,000 worth of expenses my father owes us before the insurance is split? By the way, my brother can do no wrong and after 8 years my father thinks my husband and I should do more. He thinks it is my obligation as the daughter. He will not sign over the cash value for the expenses. He has congestive heart failure and is about to die. What can I do? Thanks

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This happens quite often and if things are not set up before your father dies, then there is nothing you can do. Often one child will donate their time and financial future to their parents, but the estate will be split evenly among all offspring. Parents want to leave something to each child, so they don't want to change it. It is something that a caregiving child has to accept if a will or life insurance policy is not rewritten. Sorry, but your father has control over these things.
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If the only money is in the life insurance policy, and if you and your brother are both listed as beneficiaries, you cannot appropriate any of his share of the insurance. The insurance company is bound by law to disperse the proceeds per dad's beneficiary designation.

If that's all there is? You're left with small claims court. I give you zero chance in that venue. Your brother never agreed to help. He is not required by law to help. Afraid this is all on you.

Hopefully, while dad lived with you, you had access to his Social Security. That may ease the burden. If not, accept that you most likely wouldn't have done it any differently and let it go.
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Are you the executor? Keep receipts and submit a bill to the estate. Or ask the golden child to chip in on a monthly basis. Could you have a family meeting to discuss the monthly shortfall and have you and your brother chip in an equal amount from now on? Do not forget funeral expenses. Better discussed now than in the future.
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