What do I need to bring mom home from a nursing home and be her caregiver?

I agree with so many of the responses here. It is a job. Probably the toughest job. One in which you may become resentful of your parent and wish someone would just powder your tooch...But I digress.... ...

I have no help other than a home attendant who comes three days a week to give mom her bath and do light housekeeping. On the days when she doesn't give her a sponge bath I have to help this girl get mom in the shower with the hoyer lift. Mom is a full figured gal and its not easy. I read somewhere that back problems are the most common health issue among caregivers and I have to agree.

Between getting mom out of bed, getting her in the shower, getting her from her bed to the wheelchair, getting her from her wheelchair to her lift chair.....even changing her diaper and stretching across the bed to do so whether she is on one side of the bed or the other is backbreaking work. I find myself using TENS or a massaging device on my back each night and even sometimes I take advil to alleviate the pain.

Mom has osteoporosis and on one leg its bone on bone...so standing is too painful. Thus lifting her from chair to bed etc. is the only choice. Being alone with all this is difficult for me on days when perhaps a cable goes out on her fully electric hospital bed and I have to flip it over to fix it, or when her TV or lift chair isn't working right. I tell mom I wish she had a son for this stuff but I am it...both son and daughter, caregiver, nurse, cook, physical therapist, entertainment....and my friend if you are thinking about all this...you will be all that and more as well.

I am lucky in that my mother and I can fight, debate, converse, laugh and discuss issues. She does puzzles, reads books voraciously, and talks up a storm. I know more about her now than I ever did.

She knows how difficult it is for me to change her diaper ( I call it payback) and how tough it is for me to find work (it has been two years). But we always say goodnight to each other after I put on her bipap mask at night and she always says thank you.

I am exhausted and don't know what kind of energy I will have when I return to work, nor what I will do to get more help for her here at home. I know that recent reports say it can cost an average of almost $80,000 a year to keep someone in a nursing home. She has been there already and she hated it as much as I did. So while it may seem that I am tired and unable to have a social life or a job yet, I am glad to have her home, alert and alive.

Just weigh the pros and cons before you venture into the caregiving world.

You should be able to get Home Hospice, which would provide some assistance and all the equipment and supplies you need. I have cared for my Mom 24/7 almost 5 years now and we enrolled in Hospice last December. It is helpful, but the burden of most of the care lies with me. It is VERY hard, but very doable with some support. Follow your heart, yet understand what you would have ahead of you.

@ roseyt,You sound just like me. I moved mom from Ga. to live with me one year ago, and I am about to drop. Mom poops in her pants,refuses to wear a
pad of any kind. We have been to the Dr.etc. There is not much mom can do
for her self,so to LOLOlewis we all love our mothers but you will not have a life
for some time, all your time will be spent on seeing to your mom.

I just had a chance to read all these answers. I wish I could have seen them 3 1/2 years ago before I took Mother in. Biggest mistake of my life. If you see this and haven't made a decision----for the welfare of both of you----leave your Mother where she is. She is being cared for and you will not end up worn out and disliking her. My Mother is still able to do some things for herself but by the time she dies I'm afraid I will need someone to care for me.