Is it a good idea for my in laws who are full time care to go to a 60th anniversary party?


Both in law are full time care. mother in laws sister is having 60 wedding anniv. party.invited then neuce she she did not think good idea.

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One of the things that galls and saddens me more than I can say is that my fat-headed emotional f***wit brother goes on an on about how guilty he feels about my mother, then includes her in nothing. He turns 60 next year. My SIL thinks this is important enough to my mother that she will be happy to buy him an expensive camera - but not so important that she'll want to be included in any of the celebrations they're arranging. This has been a pattern over 30 years, so my mother is not expressing any disappointment about it. But would she like to be thought of? Well. What can I say?

If your parents'-in-law caregivers think they'll manage the day out, and your MIL is looking forward to it, then go; it would be a great shame to disappoint her for nothing. People at big family parties are happy to help out, so make no bones about asking. I can't stand the idea of shutting seniors away so that they don't "spoil" the fun. They should be there, they're family. And if your MIL's sister didn't really expect them to turn up, I'm sure she'd have had the sense to drop the right hints before now.

Four weeks ago we went to a wonderful lunch to celebrate my ex-father-in-law's cousin's 80th. My mother was warmly welcomed and had a brilliant time - better than I could have wished for, she was on sparkling form. Last weekend, though, we had to send our apologies for missing another family member's 30th because she wasn't up to almost exactly the same journey. The reality is you just have to see how it goes on the day; and make sure your hosts (or the party organisers) know the situation in advance so that there won't be any needless inconvenience.

I hope you all go, all enjoy it, and have a wonderful time. Congratulations to the diamond couple!
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You did not mention in your other post that niece thought it was a bad idea for you to take your MIL & FIL to the 60th anniversary party. Did your husband also think it would be too much for his parents when he bailed and decided to go hunting? There seems to be some confusion here.
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Who didn't think it was a good idea?

The fulltime caregivers are in the best position to know if this is likely to be a positive experience for the couple, and also to gauge how much effort it would take to make it possible and what resources there are to pull it off.

Some impaired elders would look forward to this, be excited about it, could muster enough cognitive ability to get through the event (or at least a part of it) without any incidents, and it would the highlight of their year. Others would be miserable and make others miserable as well. It would be delightful for some, and too much excitement/confusion for others.

Caregivers can guess wrong, but they are in a better position to make the call than anyone else. It can help to get a medical opinion, too.
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Niece is right.
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