Should I bring my brother back to stay with my elderly mom who has dementia?

Follow
Share

My bro is ill and is now in a nursing home. My elderly mom is crying and wants him back.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
5

Answers

Show:
No, for all the reasons above, do not bring bro home to mom's. He needs to try to get feeling well enough so he can take care of himself. Maybe it is time to move mom? Do they have memory care where your bro is?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

So very sad! But I agree with jeannegibbs. You can't bring back the past, as much as you wish you could.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Poor Mom! She misses her son. She misses the familiar way things used to be. This is very sad and I understand why you'd like to give her what she wants, but that isn't possible. You can't give her back her son the way he used to be any more than you can bring him back as a teenager. That part of Mom's past is over.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

zeenna2002, I was wondering since your brother was taking care of his Mom, was his illness related to the stress of being a 24/7 caregiver? Not to panic you, but 40% of caregivers die leaving behind the love ones they were taking care of.

I agree with Eyerishlass above, it would NOT be a good idea to bring your brother home. Your Mom, having dementia, would expect him to pick up where he had left off with the caregiving, and he can't.

It sounds like maybe your Mom need to hire caregivers to help her, or have her moved into Independent Living while she can still take care of herself, or into Assisted Living if she can't, if she can afford to do either.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Your mom has dementia. I'm assuming that your brother lived with her until he became ill and had to enter a nursing home due to his illness. Now your mom is missing him and wants him to come back home. You're wondering if your brother should move out of the nursing home and back in with your mom.

If your brother were to move back in with your mother who would take care of him? Since your mom has dementia she isn't able to care for him. I'm also assuming that since he moved into a nursing home he needs around the clock care. Who would provide that if he moved back with your mom and can your brother afford that kind of care?

I'm sure your mom misses him and her dementia probably doesn't allow her to critically analyze the situation, that her son is ill and needs around the clock care. She just misses him and wants him back and that's all she understands. Can someone take her to visit him? Can they talk on the phone? Maybe someone can pick out a nice Christmas card for her to sign and send to him.

Based only on what you've told us my answer to your question would be no, your brother shouldn't go back and live with your mom who has dementia unless he can afford in home care and his illness allows it. I wonder why he moved to a nursing home to begin with and has his medical condition improved enough for him to return home to his mother's?
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Related
Questions