Bowels movement.

I'm happy you now have 2 Angels to help you. That is wonderful you have some help now.

Up date, I have found two lovely ladies (My Angels Jennifer & Jackie) who get her up in the morning the other gets her ready for bed at night, I also thank Jesus for giving me the patience & strength for helping me with my wife( Doris) during the course of the day, all the prayers from family and friends that keep my spirit up. Don't give up ask Jesus to help you he works with me

God Bless you, Mr. Joe. You are a fine example of an excellent and caring husband. Your wife is very lucky to have you.

I’m so sorry that you are going through this. I don’t think that it’s worth trying to change your wife’s Depends yourself. It’s upsetting to her and to you.

You could try hiring someone from an agency but this won’t give you 24/7 care for her. At some point you will still be in the same position of having to change her. I would start looking at facilities for her.

Once she is placed, then you can support her by being a husband and advocate.

You should bring in some homecare. That could help. Or maybe it's time for memory care placement.

Call in homecare. An agency can help with an assessment to see where she is in her dementia. If she's at the point where she doesn't recognize you and is freaking out all the time, she should be in memory care now.

I was a caregiver for 25 years and now operate a homecare agency.
If her dementia is so advanced that she doesn't recognize you anymore, is in diapers, and there's a struggle to get her changed - it's probably time for memory care.

It might be best if you intend to keep her at home that you hire help from an agency to come help change her, as she may be more open to them as they are better trained in how to properly change someone.
And if in home help isn't an option, then perhaps it's time to look into placing her in a memory care facility, where she will receive the 24/7 care she requires and you can get back to just being her loving husband and advocate.

Does your wife recognize you, still, Joe, as her husband?
I think perhaps not.
And she is seeing your attempts to help her as a sort of "molestation" and is therefore fighting you. You may be close to the time when you can no longer care for your wife at home. She may need placement among "strangers" she trusts to care for her.
Isn't that just the saddest thing?
Dementia is full of sadness. We lose our loved ones. They lose us. Of course you would never hurt her, but her broken brain can no longer understand that.

My sympathy goes out to you. So loyal and so loving. It's time now to watch all you can about the brain that is broken. Oliver Sacks, the late neuro-scientist and physician, was absolutely captured in his adult life by the study of the brain. And his study of those with dementia convinced him that their world was as real as ours, but that the gap between our worlds was so huge we could not bridge it.
Watch and read all you can about our brains, and particularly read Oliver Sacks and watch Teepa Snow.

My heart out to you as you negotiate with so much love this last devotion. I am so sorry for all you go through. And I think we can never understand the courage, the difference made, from our limited understanding of our own "real" worlds. I wish you so much peace. No one can understand your journey but those who have taken it.