Ever since my Grandmother had her knee replacement, she has gotten a lot more frail. She complained on and off for two years about her eyesight and wouldn't make an appointment to get her eyes checked. Finally, my mom made an appointment for her and insisted that she go. Insisted isn't quite the word but picked her up and said that she was going. Turns out she had cataracts that my mother suspected she had. Grandma won't do anything about them and I am quaking in my boots about what's going to happen when she goes totally blind and still says that she can drive. Grandma has started up (again) with the calling me and my parents to do things for her. I keep telling her that I will be over on Wednsday at this time for 4 hours and I will help her with grocery shopping and some light cleaning but she has to figure out her doctors appoinments and her money. I've set boundaries of I am not ordering her this, that and the other thing, I will be over on Wednsday at 11 and we will be doing grocery shopping and if she needs a couple other things (her favorite perfume, clothes) we can do that. Yes, I will mow the lawn and throw a load of laundry in your washer but I cannot fix your electrical or plumbing problems, find an electrition or plumber to fix them. She is competent and can manage her affairs but I'm tired of her wanting me to drive almost an hour to change a lightbulb or get her a gallon of milk. Her doctor isn't happy with her because she is refusing to go to physical therapy because she has lost quite a bit of mobility, even with a knee replacement and she did the physical therapy afterwards. My response was to her, instead of sitting around 24/7 watching Fox News and not eating enough, what do you expect? I told my grandmother to get off her butt, get her eyes fixed and do the physical therapy. Otherwise, you will end up in a nursing home. She looked at me and asked, "what do you mean, you aren't going to take care of me? I can't possibly pay for help!" I had to roll my eyes.
How to I go about resetting these boundries?