I am the middle child out of the 4 siblings my parents have. They all live in other states and visit once a year. They all want to be POA"S and executor's of any wills or guardianship also. I live next door to my parents. I have for 25 years. I was hurt at work, and retired early on disability.
I am doing better and my parents are getting worse. They forget a lot, will not discuss the POA or anything else, as they think they can still take care of the house and theirselves. My dad is 83 and my mom is 82. They are coherent most the time, they argue with me over everything, make up stories about me to my other siblings, yell and scream at me, usually over nothing. (I reminded my mom to pay her income taxes(I did) and her garbage bill (it was WAY overdue). She always forgets to pay bills, because she will start looking at past bills and get so engrossed with something else, instead of what she was planning to do.
My siblings think that I should put my foot down and just say "this is the way it is", they just don't know. Confabulation, mistrust, accusing me of stuff made up in their minds(somehow), our neighbors think that I do nothing but sit in my house all day long, that's what they tell people. They tell people that they do everything by their selves and feel great. Which is way beyond the real truth.
They act (I read this on this page somewhere) in their hostess mode, when people visit or stay over for a visit. Then tell me they are so happy that the company is gone, and for me everything is right back where it was.
I have given them the papers, even said I would bring a notary or someone over to the house, but once they found out "someone" else would know, they hem hawed around signing the papers. I told them they could add anyone of the siblings if they wanted, but I would be the most logical choice. Still to this day, they won't talk about it, and have said, that we our all wating for them to die, so we can have everything. sigh... any suggestions...I've put my whole life on hold for them. I DO NOT want to live here. I am basically alone, with hardly any friends anymore. I feel like I'm the shut in, while they keep pretending to others. I am so depressed and hurt everyday from pain, of doing things that they tell others they do...
They will go to the dr. and won't tell them what is really wrong with them, because they don't want to be bothered with tests. The main reason is they don't want the dr. to think they can't take care of themselves.
Now, my family won't talk to me, (because of the conversations with mom) she loves the attention and sympathy. Dad just ignores her and stays in his bedroom with the door locked, unless there's company.
Thanks for letting me vent!! any suggestions?