I am disabled with a spinal condition that keeps getting worse. I never got alone no with my mother and my father was an abusive alcoholic but was my daddy. The 3 of us grew up going to bars late at night even on school nights to drag my dad out. Not knowing where our next meal was coming from. I got out of the house at 17 and married just to get away from my mother. I had 3 children by 23 yrs old my first child has scoliosis and failed back surgery. She is unable to walk very far and is in pain all the time. My second child had spina biffita, after 73 yes 73 surgeries he passed away at 33. My third child passed away from spinal meningitis at 2 & 1/2 gone in less than 12 hours. i am disabled with double scoliosis and spondylolitheis stage 4, I can't walk very far and have severe pain. I don't know what my future brings, I have to have weight loss surgery to lose weight fast and then a spinal fusion. I am taking care of my parents because they both have vascular dementia and can't live alone. Mom is worse than dad at this point but both have to have care. They make too much for Medicaid to help but not enough for self pay. I have 2 brothers that have the money to help but won't because they say they weren't good enough parents. Not sure how much more I can do. I'm just crying a lot and don't know how much more I can take. Anyone have any ideas?

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There are ways that your parents can qualify for Medicaid even if they make too much. You would need a lawyer to help you work through it, since it isn't a DIY task. They may need to set up a Miller trust to help them meet the Medicaid goals. An attorney specializing in these things would be able to look at their records and figure out the best thing to do.

One question I had is if they would physically qualify for placement in nursing facilities. If people are able to perform normal activities of living, e.g. walking and going to the bathroom, they probably won't qualify for a nursing facility under Medicaid. It is often the case that people are disabled, but not enough to qualify them for a nursing home. If you tell us more about their condition, someone could have some good advice for you.
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Contact your local Area Agency on Aging or Adult Protective Services for help. Try getting them into some other living arrangement.
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