Both of my parents have COVID. My mom (83) has been hacking for weeks but refused to get a test until I forced her yesterday and it was positive. My dad's was positive too although he's just showing symptoms. He (84) has massive needs from Parkinsons, kidney failure to diabetes. They have a live in who won't come care for them this week (she had yesterday off) because they have COVID (She also implied she wanted to get paid - what's the protocol?). I ordered my dad Paxloid and it's being delivered shortly. Is there any way I can get them live in help or will no one want to do that? My mother and I strongly dislike each other. I cannot do assist them because I won't allow her to abuse me for a week. I've been telling them they needed to be in assisted living for years and years, for a reason like this. I'll call and have food delivered. Am I the world's worst person for not going? I don't want COVID myself, and I have a kid. And I just don't see why I should be around an abusive person who got herself into this mess. For weeks, everyone was warning her to go get tested but she thought she was some kind of superhero.
Wearing a mask. To me it goes both ways. You should wear one for your protection and your parents should wear one while your there.
I am vaccinated with one booster. I contracted COVID on a cruise. It was like a bad head cold. Your Mom hacking for weeks and then testing positive for COVID would bother me. I don't think COVID last for weeks. Its a virus and it runs its course. Mom may have something else going on and should be checked out. She may have Bronchitis that needs antibiotics to clear up or Pneumonia which also may need antibiotics. COVID on top of this could be serious for her. Is the aide the only one who sees your parents? If so, she could have brought in the virus.
She has a personality disorder and dementia, from what you've written. Those are folks who cannot be helped by mere mortals like us
It's time for the professionals to take over. Not saying it will be better or that your mom will like it, but you have NO authority to act and your DAD needs better care.
You tried. That's all any of us can do.
Reading back a few months, if APS asks "can you be more involved?" DON'T blow up. Just say "no, I can't possibly endanger my child, my health and my job". They have to check. They will accept "no". Don't take it personally.
My mom used to say that there are some folks who are their own worst enemies. Your mom is one of them. Don't let your dad be the collateral damage.
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I think it's time to call APS. They are both vulnerable adults, mom is ill as is dad and she can't care for him.
AND she abuses him.
Call today. Like, now.
truthfully if I were in your shoes, at the very least , I would go over and check in with them daily . Wear an N95 mask . It’s the compassionate thing to do . You need not stay , but lay eyes on them , make sure they are hydrated , maybe pick up something for 5hem to eat. If one of your parents died from this , could you really not feel any guilt?
and maybe this is the catalyst for them to make the change. My mom was very hardheaded about moving, To her detriment. I think this is very common
I loved the caregivers we had at home but one of the biggest problems is what you're faced with now - they don't want to work when the client is sick, of course. Or when they're sick, etc. So I agree that it's time for them to go somewhere. Then they get care when needed.