My parents always had a rocky relationship. I don't know how much of this behaviour is just an existing dynamic surfacing because I'm there daily, or if it is behaviour resulting from brain deterioration. How much should I tolerate when my mother becomes abusive to my father, who seems hurt and puzzled by it all? I can deal with it when she lashes out at me (try to put it into perspective, and not take it too personally), but it breaks my heart when she does it to my Dad. She also seems to be very jealous whenever my Dad and I have a good time together, or when I focus too much on my Dad's needs versus hers. My Dad seems to be in a very "zen" place, content to be in the moment and he spends a lot of time lost in his memories. He's peaceful and happy, compared to her, and I feel she is toxic to his peace of mind, whether he makes the connection or not. I know not many people are caregiving for both parents with dementia, and it seems to me that this is very specific to that situation. Any advice?