I am 27, my husband is 33, we have a 4 year old daughter and a 75 year old grandfather. My husband and I met 5 years ago. We were the typical young couple. Only he and I in the house, we would come and go as we pleased. Shortly after meeting we found out we were expecting. About 7 months into the pregnancy we got a call from my husband's great aunt saying we had to come get his grandfather because she was over him. So we did. At the beginning it was fine having him in the house. He could be left alone while I worked, ran errands, or we had datenight. About a year later we noticed small things... name trouble, wandering, no money management at all, etc. He was never happy and I spent most of the next few years driving him from our home to his sisters. Whenever he got bored or mad he threatened to walk so I drove him to keep the peace. Fast forward to 2009. My husband took a job in Louisiana and we moved. He stayed with his sister against our wishes. Then about midnight one niht she told him she had moved his stuff into a broken down truck and we needed to get him. So we did! I noticed immediately the change. He was moody, had barely any memory, called me by my husbands ex's name, wandered, cried, lied, refused meals. All in all pretty bad. I took him to get checked out and he was givin meds that I found out he was flushing instead of taking.
We now live back in TN and its horrible! I cant work because he cant be left alone or he will walk to each neighbor and tell another story to each of them. He spent $800 of his SSI on lottery tickets that he couldnt understand to actually know if he won. He hides my computer. Refuses food. Refuses bathing. My husband works about 14 hours a day so it is mostly me with him. A week ago things got the point that I started looking for help! I got him enrolled in an elderly program but it will be 4-6 weeks until I start getting help.
My question is, how do I not get bitter about giving up my last 5 years? He is so rude and mean to me when my husband is gone but when he is here, he is different. I feel like I am raising a 4 year old and a 75 year old the only difference being, he can say screw you and walk out the door.
Maybe I will feel better after simply putting my feelings into words but I am struggling with all of this and thought maybe a group can help! Thanks in advance!