3 years ago my mom had a stroke. Then a heart attack, and progressing dementia. She's had a lifetime of uncontrolled diabetes, and high blood pressure. Due to her own bad control. I was appointed by siblings to be the one to live with her and take care of her with the help of all family members. I had just lost my job of 10 yrs. Well the help lasted a week. 1 week. My mother was a out spoken, rude, very pretty, thought she was better then everyone else kind of person. Growing up with her was hell.

Now 3 years later. Her money is her monthly SSI. And the bills, credit cards, meds. Medical bills, utilities, house payment, insurance 's, etc. Are drowning us. I'm not paid for 24/7 care. No unemployment. I am burned out, resentful, and don't know where to turn. Medicaid denies her. No money for hired help. What do I do?

Find Care & Housing
Stop paying for anything except meds, house payment and utilities. Let the bills and credit cards go. She doesn't have anything they can get. (see for more financial help) Call a meeting with the siblings and say, "I'm out. Take care of her."
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to katiekat2009

I agree with the above. Also, can you start thinking about getting back into the paid workforce? Your county's website might list some resources for job seekers that could be helpful.

Also, I am sorry she has been such a hurtful, disappointing mom over the years, not just recently apparently. Have you considered seeking out counseling for this issue? I know I would in your shoes.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to SnoopyLove

Perhaps it’s time to sell her house, pay off credit and move her into a small apartment that is more manageable financially. Also consult an elder law attorney to see if there is a way to get her on Medicaid.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to UsedupDIL

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