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Today was our 54th anniversary. My husband with dementia had no clue. Two weeks ago he stood up in church and announced that we had and "event" but couldn't remember what it was. He asked me, and at the time I had no idea what he had in mind. Then he said something about 25 years, so I figured out he was talking about our anniversary. We talked about the things we used to do, etc., and went down memory lane when we got home. Then nothing else. I didn't bring it up, since he gets so confused. But, today I had a card ready, but he would have been upset if I had given it to him and he didn't have one. For dinner I fixed the fancy food that we used to have to celebrate our anniversary years ago, thinking it might ring a bell, but it didn't. Was I correct in letting the day slide by, or should I have made a big deal out of it? (Sorry to take up so much space)

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Alexander4, When We relate to either Alzheimer's or Demensia Sufferers It is vitally important We remember that it is for Us to take one step to the Left and Join Them in Their World, as no matter how hard We try We will never manage to bring Them back into Our World. That is very sad I know, but People Who suffer from Alzheimer's or Demensia have a disease in the brain, hence rational thinking is completely gone, forever.
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You did what was best for the moment. Your life is moment by moment now. It was so kind of you to try. You're a good person. All you can do is the best you can.
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I think you handled it with an appropriate choice, and I know it must have stung. I'm so glad he could recognize the day in some way. And I wish you a very Happy Anniversary!
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Wow, in my case trying to help my husband remember is painful and in his case makes him angry. Although in his late eighties he believes he is only 30, never been married or had children etc. It has been almost a year since the memory of family has gone, I know some of the staff remind him etc. when I visit but it just makes things worse for me.
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This always bothers me. You count too! Yes, it was so very sweet of him to remember it like he did in church. If he would feel bad that he didn't have a card for you then he must remember that he would have normally had one. Rather than just scratch special occasions why not remind him and take him to pick a card. In fact, why not have a redo and still take him to pick out a card and then go to a favorite spot and exchange your cards? Even if you have to pick it with h. Celebrate three times! Things won't be the same but they can still be. If he still remembers anniversaries are something to be celebrated then why not celebrate? If you are pleased then he sounds like a guy who would be delighted that you are happy. It's not that you did wrong. It's more like you were mourning the old way which is very understandable. Grab the moments and cherish them. All any of us have is today. No need to skip today just because it's not like yesterday. Hugs
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That was so sweet that your husband stood up in church to try to recall an event... which was your anniversary [two weeks early], but the idea that he even remember was huge. So many guys without memory issues don't remember their anniversaries so give that husband of yours a big hug :)

Yes, you were correct to let the actual Anniversary day slide.

Let us wish you a Happy 54th Anniversary :)
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You did the right thing. He remembered in his own little way and that was very sweet.
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