First Dad, Then Mom, Now my husband... it's been since 1995 that I have not had someone as a care receiver. With my parents it was usually 3 - 4 days a week, and occasionally more that I would help, give companionship, and deal with their needs. And it started out slowly enough. Husband got sick about a year before Mom died. His ongoing chronic illness fluctuates constantly and it's extremely unpredictable. Just when I think he's getting better, he ends up back in bed or unable to function. Then when I think he's never getting better, he starts to get bit normal. It's beyond chronic fatigue as it includes autonomic nervous system, digestion, balance, dizziness, and an inability to process information well. Kind of like dealing with someone that has slight dementia, ms, and a brain injury -- some days and other days just a really bad flu... Making it impossible for him to do much. He might seem fine to others, and just lazy, but that's not him. He used to be a highly responsible, quickly responsive, and active man both in his work and in his hobbies. Now? Well, he just went a week without a shower, only left the house to see a doctor, and suddenly today decided to take the bus to see his mental health counselor. I have very little support any more. Friends think he's just depending on me too much and that he should do more, try harder, and be less needy. Family ? I get lectures from my sibling every year or so, haven't seen him in maybe 4 years, maybe longer. There is little social. I know I sound annoyed, bitter and angry, but this past week did me in. What I've tried to do is talk with friends. Some listen. Others very quickly tell me to find a support group. One frequently invites me for walks and lunchs and I am most grateful. But in reality? I feel isolated, alone, and heck, if not for Facebook, I would be completely alone. What does a 60 year old woman do when there is no help available? The VA might help if he gets a service connection determination, but without that, they offer great medical. So far -- in 5 years, I've not found anything that really helps. I may start a support group myself, but my counselor 2 years ago warned that it would take to much energy. So frustrated. So tired. So not wanting to be a caregiver. Where can I find: Household help, Occasional companionship for him, an occasional driver who would take him on planned outings so I can plan my escape? I've got to get away for a few days. It wont' fix anything, but I desperately need time away where I can fully relax, have food brought to me, and allow myself to just melt.