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She has late stage dementia (about stage 6+). We needed to move my mom to my home 2 years ago. She stayed for 1.5 years then we moved her to an Alzheimers Unit in a local nursing home. She no longer is able to remember where she is, or any other details of her present condition. I visit her several times a week and she is still able to remember family members and some friends, if not by name, by recognition. She is pretty frail, walks with a walker very short distances. She sometimes needs to use a wheelchair.

I'm planning a family gathering with children ranging in age from 3 mos. to 14 years old. Is it better for small groups to visit her at the NH or for her to visit the full group (11 people in all) at my home.

Have any of you had experience with this? Mom still enjoys being around people, though her communication is very limited.

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It gives more happiness to seniors when you visit them at their place. My friend's father who 76 now, is staying in an assisted living facility of prestige care. Though he is very happy with other seniors, he becomes more happy and excited seeing his family. I had gone with my friend once to meet him and i could see his pleasure. They deserve the same happiness and care as we get. They may not be comfortable with staying with us since most parents wish to live independent. However, they should not feel like their children have no concern for them.
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My mom has beginning dementia and is a very nervous anxious person. I went through this same thing at Christmas and I opted not to have mom come home for a visit. All the small children, noise, etc.... would confuse her I thought. And then I was shocked when none of my nieces or their families went to see her after spending Christmas Eve afternoon with me at home.

We have literally no family in town, so it takes planning to get visits accomplished. I have used large rooms at the nursing home for family visits, because it's familiar to mom, she can go to her room if she gets too worked up or tired. We have also used the rooms and done the visits in stages, with some family staying at home while others visited and vice versa.

Getting the nursing home's input is a great idea.
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This is a tough one to know for sure. You know your mother better than we do. Do you think that she would enjoy being in your home with all the people around? My greatest concern would be that she would become disoriented and frightened. If you think she would do okay, it would be a great way to bring the family together. I would consult the NH staff to see what they thought. They have the experience in dealing with the after-effects of family visits, so may be able to provide some insight on things to do and not to do. If your mother enjoys people, it might go well. Fingers crossed for you.
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