My husband has severe Alzheimer's. I am the sole caregiver for my 84 year old husband who is suffering from severe Alzheimer's. He can still take care of his personal hygiene and dress himself. However, he doesn't know where he is although we have lived in our home for almost 20 years. He used to travel a lot in his work and thinks he is traveling and our home is a hotel. He thinks he lives elsewhere and wants to leave and go there. Most of the time he doesn't know who I am, but he knows he likes me. He doesn't want to let me out of his sight. He frequently asks where his parents are or says he has to go visit them or other family members who have passed. He doesn't think he has a problem and gets angry when I try to get help caring for him. He has refused to go to memory care day care even though I have taken him there to see the facility and meet the staff and some of the guests. He says they are all crazy and he doesn't want to be around them. I have recently tried home care for 4 hours 2 days a week so I could get out of the house for a few hours. That did not go well and he asked the caregiver to leave on the second visit. The caregiver called to tell me what was happening so I went home immediately. When I got there the caregiver was on the front steps waiting for me as my husband would not let him stay in the house.
I have looked into placing him in a memory care facility and have chosen a good one for him. However, I feel in my heart (and my head) that he would go into a decline if removed from our home. I want what is best for him and am concerned that perhaps I cannot give him the proper care at home. Would he actually be better off and better cared for in a memory care facility? Does anyone have any suggestions?