I and my husband have living with and taking care of my mother with dementia for over 5 years. It has gotten to the point where we konw we cannot offer her the type of care she needs and still care for ourselves, make a living and save for our own retirement. Out ability to work (we are self employed) has been deeply affected) and we can no longer do this to ourselves.
She is in her own world and comfortable in her home, but we are have not been able to take time off at all in those years. Although she has asked to go to a nursing home, now that it is a reality, she does not want to go.
We have a heart an do love her, but we are doing a dis-service to our own life and her ability to have better care as well.