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I realize my husband needs to quit driving, although he hasn't gotten lost..yet..
But the real danger is in having an accident and being sued for everything we are worth, in case the accident involves a death or someone is critically injured. I took him to his neurologist yesterday and she is having St. David's hospital, located in Austin, call me for an appointment for him. There, he will be given a driving test which will surely indicate he should quit. His license will be taken away from him at that time.
I can already feel the anger he will display. He will be violent. He will display a reaction which will not be pretty. I am dreading the call for the appointment but it must be done. It will be so hard for nor only me, but our family. Each day will be dreadful, for he is used to climbing into his pickup any time he needs something, although he forgets what he needs and becomes so frustrated. His temper will be great.
I will also have to remove the pickup, or disable it, which might be the worse thing, as he might try to work on it, or get help.
I have thought of taking it elsewhere and saying it is in the shop, for he'll forget he has no license.
Has anyone solved this somehow? My husband uses his truck for many jobs he has tinkered with. His pickup is quite useful. I know he won't allow me to take him around for his needs. It is going to be bad, and he'll become paranoid. marymember

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If he's tested and fails, it is the testing facility that's taking away his license...at least that's the meme I'd latch on to. The real worry (for me) would be that he'd pass their exam. Yikes. If you need his truck, lock the keys in a secure place when you aren't driving it yourself. When we're care taking for loved ones, we often have to be tough as nails . . . And shed our tears when we have alone time. I feel your pain.
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My brother is a fireman. Point blank, he said take the keys away.. NOW. Just remove the keys...Tell him the Firedepartment and police say no more driving.... If he gets in an accident it wont take much for the other person to say geriatric man's fault.... My brother has seen it too many times.
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My father drove a large pickup through a bank and into an office where a pregnant loan officer (who also was a family friend) did business. By the grace of God, this wonderful young woman was at a prenatal office visit. If she and her then unborn son would have been killed by this stubborn old narcissist fool, many lives would have been ruined.

It took FIVE more years and the help of the sheriffs office to get his selfish self off of the road.

Make that appointment TODAY. You may save several innocent people's lives.
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perhaps you could break it to him in a singing telegram .

na na na NA
hubby dear , your memories getting bad .
doc wants to see ya , and your gonna be mad .
your plowing ditches , and sideswiped a bus .
your gonna be the death of both of us .
gimmee those keys , and ill get you some ' ludes .
can it right now , with that attitude .
im not even interested , in your rebuttal .
get your senile old a** , on the senior bus shuttle.
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Eventually we will all go through this ourselves. Think about how you would feel to have your independence taken away. Wouldn't like it one bit, would you? Especially if it was your know-it-all kid saying so. LOL

That being said. What we had to do with FIL was sell the 2 cars and buy 1 new one that he had never driven and didn't know anything about. He wasn't given a key to it to begin with. He didn't give up easily and badgered MIL to the very end to let him drive. She held firm and we all had many, many conversations with him about it. I never felt so sorry for anyone in my life. He would just cry, it hurt him so. On the other hand MIL gradually began giving up driving to others.

Good luck with this. It's such a tough thing to do.
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My husband drives me crazy every day with the where's my car, I want it right now. But I took the keys away four years ago, told him every day, repair man was coming out to fix his car ( brand new) every day, having the car proved way too much of a headache so I sold the car. Telling him it needed more work. Well his liscence expired and he wanted it renewed now! Took him for renewal, knowing he couldn't even tell them his address, guess what, they renewed it for six years. There's no way to stop your husband from wanting the truck & keys, just take them, the wrath will be tremendous but just use the re directing technique. He will blame you and hate you, but it will come & go. I also sold my car and bought one that takes no keys to open or operate, he has no clue how it works. Good luck it's very hard taking their independence away but the alternative is not pretty. After 4 years he brings it up, demandingly, 3-4 times a day, ignoring the question helps sometime. I would not take him for that test.
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What can I say in our defense? Not much. We were never able to get his keys, and all discussions would end in terrible arguments. No one was ever right except him. We would have had to wrestle our 91 YO dementia-ridden paranoid dad to the ground to get his keys out of his pocket. (He never showered so we couldn't steal them while he was in the shower!) He failed the vision part of his DL test, but insisted that they had it in for him, and it was a conspiracy to keep old guys from driving...and he insisted his driving was fine! So first my brother tried flattening a tire. When Dad saw that, he threatened to harm anyone he caught conspiring against him. Then we let the battery die, and that was the trick. When he thought about driving, and found the car dead, he would ask us to take him for a new battery. We said, sure, Dad, but I'm too busy this week. We'll go next week, and since his dementia was terrible, we could do that every time he asked. We always warned him he had no license, and that we didn't think he was one to break the law, but he was determined to drive anyway. There are tricks one can use to disable the engine, but Dad was a mechanic who could have fixed anything we did. He died in November, after breaking a hip. We are all at peace now.
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Oh yes, when my father's tried and true Eye Doctor told him his macular degeneration was too advanced and he needed to stop driving immediately, he got mad and went to 7, count them 7, other opthamologists answer shopping for one that would write a letter to the DMV. If any of these people would have done so, I would have written to the state licensure board in a heart beat.

What is it about this generation? They are the first to tell their family no, but they cannot take NO for an answer themselves.
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My husband and I are elderly and I knew that I would have the same problem and dreaded it like crazy. He also had a pickup that he loved. I told him one day that we are both not young anymore and if anything happened to him I didn't know what I would do, so I needed to start driving and needed him to remind me of the lights, etc. And I would teach him to use the washer, dryer, etc.(that never happened. But the Lord sent our son at just the right time, after he needed his Dad's truck. My husband never minds letting anybody borrow anything, just won't give anything away. He forgot about the truck and I took the car keys and hid them. What I was dreading so terribly never happened!!
I hope this might help some.
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All of your answers were good. Right now my husband has actually lost his truck key. We are oing to have a mechanic who works at our dealership tell our daughter how to disable the truck. I think the idea of selling both automobiles and buying myself a new car is the best suggestion of all. Thanks to all of you. I can't say "keep on trucking" because the truck won't be here. (ha). I haven't answered earlier because my computer is acting up. I am using another one that I have to get used to....Thanks to ALL'
!!!!
marymember
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