It's not all the time, but it's most of the time. My mom is not someone who by nature has been a blamer, abusive, any of that sort of stuff. She's actually a mild person, one might say meek and childlike until she becomes stubborn or irrational. But in our interactions of late, everything seems to be my fault. If something is gone, I moved it. If something is dirty, it's my fault. She will use very extreme thinking in an accusatory way: "The shed was perfectly fine until you put all your things in it, now it's a mess, you need to get rid of everything." You have so much stuff. Nobody has as much stuff as you." "There are always clothes all over your bed." "If you'd only do..." "Did you take my butter? (no) Because it was there before." "Did you move x?" "You're so (insert criticism here)" "You always do x" etc. Now it would be one thing if any of those things were true, but they're not. I'm fine with taking criticism where appropriate but her thinking is very extreme.
The fact is, yes the shed needs to be organized, but it's mostly her stuff, and general garden, cleaning, painting stuff etc. All of which I've organized multiple times, never once has she done it. (It needs to be done again and that's in the plans). I'm actually a super-clean person and except for a nightclothes, the only time there are clothes on my bed is when I'm folding laundry. There are a few work items and books in my private space but it is by no means a hoard or even cluttered. And most of my things are not even here. Yet she has enough things to fill a two bedroom house.
Bottom line, her thinking is extreme and her accusations are getting more frequent. I feel my mercury rising, and I swallow the anger each time, but what is the best way to respond or ignore it with minimal psychic injury on my part?