What are the best supplies for incontinence?

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What is the best disposal diapers for incontinence? Should you go in between sizes, s/m or l/xtra l? A tight fit or loose better? Pull up or tabs? I am now using the Depends Flex Fit brand, a tight fit, they are pull ups. The #2 is leaking out, soiling sweats like crazy, nights the worse. Is there a better brand? Should I double the depends at night? Hard to get this done if he is not wet or soiled. Is the side tabs better for the big, messy jobs? I will change over if needed, the day care uses them and they seem to hold even #1 better. I am concerned I will have a difficult time diapering him though. All of your support appreciated. God Bless

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Check out Northshore supply. They are the BEST. Will send samples & you can actually talk to a person who knows what they're talking about. I ended up ordering exclusively from them for my father.
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I just heard about these underwear for incontinence, but I haven't tried them yet.
https://www.iconundies.com/
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My mom couldn't fit into Depends size small. She tried CVS and Kmart brands as well. She uses the SM ones from Sam's Club that works well and for the price because you get bulk it's worth it!
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Bedside commode most helpful.
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We had the same problem here. Nights were the Worst, especially for urinary incontinence. Single or doubled up pull-ups weren't containing well at all. During the day fecal incontinence had become equally unmanageable. Until I found the Abena's AbriSan Preimium Liners. They are like the Tena pads only much better. They are large inserts that fit inside the brief. (People with ulcerative colitis use these pads.) Be sure they are concave to provide the best protection against seeping and against skin irritation of the inner thighs. These pads are super absorbent and wick the moisture away from the skin. Often the brief beneath is still intact and only the insert needs to be replaced. They have been a Godsend for us! I found them online at Amazon dot com, and would buy them from the most economical distributor. Try a pack. I would then typically order 4 packs at a time, delivered to the home in a large box. Such a relief for both of us and sanity saver for me!
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My mother liked and used Poise.
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Thank you, Old Red Wolf, for your explanation. We've been experimenting for a few years now. Because hubby is on a diuretic, it makes things just that much more difficult to predict. You are correct when you write about the skin deterioration. Hubby has this. I'm glad to say that since his hospitalization, the nursing staff has managed to clear a lot of it up, but it will have to be continued once he gets home. I am hopeful that his rehabilitation will allow us to at least get out once a week or so, and that's when your suggestions for different combinations will come in very handy for us. Thank you again for all your excellent suggestions!
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My Mom has been using pull ups. I like the Walgreen brand. I ask he aids, now Mom in incontinent , if they want me to go to the diapers to make it easier. They told me the sides rip open for getting off easier. (Wish I knew this before)
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Hugemom, not all incontinence products have the same absorbency even in the same category of product. Many do, but others put low cost or thin size or other features first, and make a much less absorbent product. So if someone is new to handling an incontinence problem or if their problem has gotten substantially worse, you do not want to discourage them from experimenting and asking questions until they find something that works completely for them, even if it takes a combination of several products to do the job. For example, on some long hectic days I might use a Tena comfort pant on the outside of an Abena Abri-Flex L3 Pull-Up over 2 Tranquility Contour Booster Pads. The Tena comfort pant is a super stretchy pant that holds the Abena pull-up close to my body to prevent leaks around the leg openings when the pull-ups and booster pads are full and heavy, because I am almost small enough to go from the large to the medium size on the pull-up. The booster pads allow flow through from the inner booster pad to the booster pad underneath and then flow further through to the pull-up as each successive layer gets full. This will hold several full emptying of my bladder, if I will be someplace where there is inadequate bathroom access for a person with my other disabilities. I could replace the two Tranquility Contour Booster Pads with one Tranquility Contour Super Plus (Bariatric) Booster Pad, which would just fit within the length and width of the absorbent section of the Abena pull-up in the large size, if I felt like it. With less total absorbency, I might not make it through a long day staying dry when even the local version of handicapped restrooms is not accessible to me. For most people with incontinence problems, they could probably not imagine needing that much protection in their worst nightmares - I never gave it a thought until it happened in one brief accident, and I had recovered considerably and needed less protection, to my relief, when I had another accident and suddenly needed that much protection again. Some "overnight" pull-ups and briefs are considerably less absorbent than my Abena pull-ups. Some booster pads are considerably less absorbent than the Tranquility Contour booster pads. Keep encouraging everyone to keep trying until everybody stays dry, because the alternative can be skin breakdown, infection, hospitalization, and sometimes death. That is the grime side. The happy side is that there are combinations that work for some very tough cases.
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Hugemom, Tranquility has some good bariatric diapers, pads, and booster pads that might be good for your husband. Do not be put off because Tranquility's absorbency numbers seem much lower than some other brands for similar items, because Tranquility measures the absorbency of a diaper while it is under the pressure that it would be under when someone sits or lies on it, which is after all what we do with our incontinence underwear. So the Tranquility products really are very close in absorbency to the Abena products, i.e. they are also a premium brand. Abena may also have a bariatric set of products, I think I remember some but I am not sure.
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