Does anyone have stories to share regarding being the POA and dealing with siblings that drive ya bonkers?

everytime I tell my sis something dad does she comes back and downplays the situation. She is coming here in about 5 weeks but not even staying a week. Why bother. I told her I wanted to look at memory care places but I guess I will have tp make the decision myself. Thank goodness I am the POA

Now my sister and mother (91 with Dementia / Parkinson's / heart problems) are arguing over dishes, pictures, etc. that my sister took from mom's house without her knowledge according to Mom before she moved here with us 7 years ago. I have drawn the line in the sand and refuse to be put in the middle. I have NO idea what the truth is. I am POA and sis likes to stir the pot. She even went as far as to get the elder attorney involved telling her that I was stealing from our mother. She is so messed up. I keep records so that was easily debunked. Sis won't visit, call, or help in any way, but wants to make sure she can get her hands on everything she can right now. It has come to light that she was taking things from mom's house for years.
What I don't understand is it takes so much energy to hate, lie , and cause problems, why does she do it. She can't even keep track of her own lies. Thank goodness for voicemail. I don't have to answer the phone, and it limits her rants to the allowed time of the box.
I am NOT looking forward to being co executor with her on mom's will. That's going to be a nightmare. I am already planning on taking everything to my attorney when the time comes so he can do the probate. I'll need therapy after that I'm sure. Bonkers is a kind word for what some of our siblings do.

If my mother has a revocable living trust naming me as Trustee and I also am per Durable POA do I need to have a quit claim deed done to get her house out of her name in order for Mom to qualify for my deceased Dad's veterans survivor benefits for home health care?

In answer to the posted question. Send the siblings an itemized statement of income and expenses EVERY month. Ask them for money to help pay the bills. You can add in the income column your contribution. And theirs (if they send anything, bet they don't) Keep precise records. Give it a few months and they won't bother you. Trouble makers don't mess with good bookkeeping. Anything sent by US Mail is a legal document by law. You may choose to have them sign for it.

Kcshine77 Many POA's are not legal unless filed in the courtroom. Check to find it first. Then ask to speak to someone in Legal Guardianship at the courthouse, and find out how to file to get it. They will walk you step by step through the procedure with a signed statement from your mother's doctor on your mothers mental and physical health. It is worth paying the doctor a consultant fee to get this statement. Good luck.

I believe my aunt has taken over POA from my mother who has cognitive issues without knowing. I couldn't find any copies at Mom's house, only my aunt. I'm concerned about the aunt handling my mother's finances as she can't manage her own who's very controlling and wants everything her way and will not give over the POA easily. I have to step in and take over to protect my Mom from any emotional and financial abuse. Any experience out there on this issue?

I have one of these. I am POA and sis tends to be focused on what her inheritance will be. I remind her it is not an "inheritance" until someone dies and mom is very much alive and living with dementia here with me. I have learned to take a deep breath and refocus on whatever task is at hand, since there is no changing the situation.

I have one of these. I am POA and sis tends to be focused on what her inheritance will be. I remind her it is not an "inheritance" until someone dies and mom is very much alive and living with dementia here with me. I have learned to take a deep breath and refocus on whatever task is at hand, since there is no changing the situation.

Mom got taken to the ER at 5 AM this morning with a cellulitis flare-up in her lower legs. Guess who we did NOT call.. ;-)

Care4Mama, we took sis off the call list. Even her husband said "She's no good at this". For example, when my husband had a heart attack twenty years ago, sis called mom in Florida to tell her. All mom heard was unintelligible screaming punctuated by sobs. We thought after raising two daughters sis had acquired some crisis management skills. Apparently we were wrong, all the crises in the last twenty years were mediated by her husband.
She is a sweetheart, would do anything for you, but she's a dingbat.

Well,you shouldn't be going bonkers if you don't have anything to worry about.
If your living off of someone elses retirement and spending like if it's your own money then you should be going bonkers.As POA your in control.How you attempt to use that control will cause,bonkers.Count to ten and move on.

pamstegman, that's terrible! Definitely not someone who should be in charge of any major decisions that need to be made. How'd everything turn out?

My MIL fell at the ALF and had to go the ER. We sent my SIL, who is a mature adult, to go there and let us know how things were going. Six hours later she had not shown up. We called her. She went to the ALF, then said she couldn't find mom there or at the ER a block away, so she went home. Never called anyone, including her mother. She is the type of person who goes completely BLANK in a crisis. Her brains completely evaporate.