My FIL has been at a memory care facility for about 6 months. The first 4 or so were dealing with his meds for his bipolar, but he was also given a test by his Dr and diagnosed with dementia. Supposedly this diagnosis indicated that he would not be able to live on his own without 24 hour support.
At this point, his meds seem to have been adjusted so that he is much better. He seems pretty coherent most of the time, although he has never been very good at planning ahead... e.g., he has never managed his own money or really his medical issues.
He has been pretty accepting, up until now, that COVID is the reason he is at the facility. But recently they opened up a bit (this is NC) and his wife was allowed to see him. Of course, now he wants to know why he cannot go home.
So here is the question. All along, the doctors *and* the facility management have been very reluctant to give him any type of honest assessment of his condition and why he is in this facility. He constantly calls his eldest daughter (my wife) and demands for her to “do something”.
At this point, she feels that they (the family, mostly 3 other sisters), should tell him: Dad, this is your diagnosis.. you cannot be allowed to come home because there is no one there to care for you as you need (his wife cannot, with dementia issues of her own - possibly she caused the original meds issue).
Has anyone had this type of “realistic diagnosis” been withheld from their family member? We believe that FIL will understand the truth, although he may dispute it. It seems like the facility just doesn’t want to take the chance that he may become disruptive, which I must confess could be a possibility.
It is a very tough situation for my wife, and while the other sisters do help (they live nearby, we do not), they have *not* followed through on some of these questions for his doctors about his current diagnosis and telling him the truth.
Thanks in advance for any comments.