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I'm a widow with a 19 yr disabled son. When i found this job i was practically in the street..almost evicted.
This job pays very well..I sleep at this house 4 or 5 days a week $180 a day. It's him and his wife..he is a retired Dr. Millionaire. There house is big and I have my own room. His man is 94..he is very strong for his age ..takes vitamins and takes good care of himself. No dementia or any other Illness..only diabetes 2. I hardly do much for him ..I check his sugar..I give him insulin shots..I give him his med and drive him to appointments or shopping..he takes a shower alone. He is also writing his 5th book and im helping. So he knows my situation and he said he wanted to take care of me and give me whatever i want....he tries and grabs me by my waist..tries and rubs on my chest...and he wants me to massage him in private places. I just take care of him..they have a lady that cleans 2xs a week...I lock my room at night..now I'm scared to lose my job because he is furious i keep telling NO NO NO. Pls i feel terrinle..I'm making real good money but i cannot take this anymore. I'm 48 and i feel he should respect me and understand respect his wife...if i tell her i will lose my job for sure. He has afford me a lot of money BUT I CANNOT!!! I can't do that. :( my friend says I should take the money..but I cant..please help me what can I do?

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Start looking for a new job, even if it pays less. There is a reason he is paying generously, he has probably had others quit on him before.
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I worry that some are over reacting. Don't get me wrong, I don't like unwanted sexual advances either. Talk with his wife and ask what to do about his attempts to touch you. Ask her if anything has worked before. My Dad has gotten verbally naughty with females, part dementia wiping out his ability to know what is appropriate, and part his nature and nurture from the 1940-1950s attitude about women. Try putting your hair in a bun, wearing something that looks like a uniform (a medical type jacket?) and deal with it as a "professional"....I'm sorry sir, that is against the rules of my profession. Over and over. Do not take it personally. If he overpowers you, let the wife know you will need to quit because you are physically unable to stop him. I bet she does not want to loose another caregiver. My mom would talk to my dad about his bouts of paranoia when he was going through that stage, thinking I would steal from him for example. He believed her. He recently offered a respite care giver room on the bed, and she just said "no thank you, I am required to remain awake." and that did the trick. In the meantime, consider having the wife stand by in the room when you do your blood testing and med pass until he is "trained". If all this works, you then have created a job you benefit from, if not then move on. If you have already tried all this stuff, sorry, then I agree it is time to get a new job. Good Luck.
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I was thinking about it and agree that it is more about power than about sex. He gets a kick out of making you uncomfortable. This is how he controls you and basically bullies you. The way to deal with bullies is to turn the tables on them and stand up to them one way or another. Let him know that his intimidation is not working on you. Make a joke of it or whatever works for you. "That old thing again", "Can't you do better than that" and so on. Take charge of your own reactions, don't show fear," I was in a situation where someone who had lost his temper and had destroyed some things in the house, was coming at me. I walked over to the phone, put my hand on the receiver (in those day) and said "One step closer and I call the cops." He stopped in his tracks. This is why I suggested above contacting an agency and getting some ideas. Then you are being proactive on your own behalf - not just the victim.
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Get out, ASAP even if you have to stay at a motel or women's shelter. From what you describe, he's perfectly capable of taking care of himself. The "caregiver" is apparently a potential plaything, it would seem.

I have a feeling his wife already knows about his proclivities; she can't have lived with him for years and be totally naive.

I suspect he's been through a series of women he attempted to seduce. What reason did he give for hiring you after (presumably) the last one left?

What I would think about is a way to video his actions secretly just for protection. You never know what this kind of predator will do once you give notice.
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I had a situation like that when I was younger. I told his wife and simultaneously handed her my resignation, even though she wasn't the one who hired me. Get out as if vacating from a fire and don't look back. Believe me, you will survive.
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Sorry, but I honestly don't think you should pepper-spray a 94 year old -- just get out of the room. The police might come and arrest YOU for assault, especially as you have been aware of this problem for some time and are decades younger than he is. Look around for another situation if you don't feel you can level with the wife. So sorry this is happening.
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If he doesn't have dementia, then this is sexual harassment in the workplace. He's 94, so I'm sure he's operated like this all his life. Wife probably looks the other way.
Sometimes it's possible to take action ONCE, and establish that you won't tolerate the b.s. Sometimes it becomes a back and forth nonstop battle. If you think you can exert enough assertive energy (as Cesar Milan the Dog Whisperer says!), then tell him with complete seriousness, that you'll call his dr. Immediately for a neuro/psych eval, because he's exhibiting signs of dementia. Say it with complete conviction, to his face--don't sugarcoat it or soften your voice. I think with an ego as big as his, he'll be flabbergasted. And maybe he'll stop. Maybe your job won't last much longer. I think it's worth trying though. At the very least, you will have stood up for yourself, and that skill will carry you farther in life than anything else. Good luck!
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Even though he isn't documented as having dementia it might be possible he does or some form of it. It seems like as folks age they sometimes get overly sexual and I am pretty sure I read on here that especially in dementia patients. Regardless, it's not OK and Ismiami is right you should find work elsewhere. Trust me as a Caregiver to my mom if my mom didn't despise outside help I would pay almost anything for someone to help out. You can find a better situation.
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If he were a child, I'd recommend saying: "I find your behavior rude and obnoxious. It has to stop." Emotionally, he probably is a child. So you might try saying that anyway. And say it as many times as necessary, until he breaks his rude and obnoxious habits.
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Smack his penis down with your hand and tell him you have seen that before.. thats what I do at work! Then laugh... LOL and let his wife know what is going on.. maybe have her come with you when you put his catheter on, that might slow him down But in the meantime I agree look for another job.
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