Growing up, my family has always had one thing or another. Cancer, heart conditions, dementia, accidents, fibromyalgia, and so on. I've seen family member after family member die. When I was 14 we found out that my grandfather's lung cancer had returned. The chemo and all of that seemed to be helping, until it started to spread. It soon spread up the spinal cord and into his brain. When I was 15 I spend Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays taking care of him. However, when he was at his worst and was about to go, my parents forbid me from going over anymore. They knew how much he meant to me and they didn't want me to see him like that. It doesn't matter that I've seen 2 other people that I was close to even worse off. The second to last time I saw him, he gave me his dog tag. He never showed his military stuff to anyone, except for me. The last time I saw him, was a day before he passed. I've worn his dog tag everyday since then. It's been 5 years now. After he passed, my sister "lived" with my grandma for about half a year until she graduated high school. When I say "lived", I mean she was only there half the time. The rest of the time she was working, and hanging out with friends. At 16 my parents kicked me out, so I moved in with my grandma to try and help her out. I graduated when I was 18, and my family guilt tripped me into one more year. At 19 my Dad made a deal with me, instead of going to college like I planned, he would pay for me if I stayed one more year. I'm now 21 and it's because of them I wasn't able to get a paying job. It's because of them that I never went to college. I had the chance, but I agreed to stay one more year. Now they are mad at me for not doing any of that stuff (Job, college, etc.). Not just pressuring me, but physically have yelled at me for it before. I feel like a failure for it, because I had the chance. I know she would have been taken care of, yet I agreed. Now I have nothing. I gave up everything to take care of my grandma. And what did I get from it? Nothing but stress, frustration, and a new hatred towards my family. Now they have the nerve to yell at me for it? I honestly wouldn't change a thing. I love taking care of her, yet at the same time, this doesn't feel like a family. It feels like a job. Is it wrong for me to hate my family though, for forcing me to do something I wound up loving?