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It's lies, I live with him in his apt, not on lease 3yrs now destroying my health. Police came yesterday, I called a person that drives him to appointments that is a former Brinks co worker of his. She called police accusing me of abuse. I did not abuse him he assaulted me and has before APS has come to house checking on me in late October. What can I do to protect myself, police are forwarding report to DA but did not arrest me. My father stated I did not hurt him yesterday. But is claiming I just smacked him on 12/3015 at 4am when he rushed out in his Panties and started attacking for having the heat on. it was 30 degrees, turns on heat all day when he is fully clothed. Turns off when HE goes to sleep. gets violent if it comes on, prior to this we had a talk and he said it was ok, but just looses it over certain issues.

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sj94111, you need to get out of there ASAP. The police will remove you before they will remove him, since it is his apartment. Do not wait for that to happen. San Francisco has good help for you to get out of there. Make use of it.
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Another thing I should mention is that if you're being beaten just for having the heat on for basic survival during winter, you really need to gather your survival gusto and start fighting back. You need to push back hard, you already have it in you if you are at your absolute wits end, and believe me when I say that adrenaline during this time is a very wonderful thing. You don't know your true potential until you come to that point of having to use it, and you're going to have to come to that point sometime. I can give you all the tips in the world on how to survive because I survived. However, all of the tips in the world are going to help you until you come to the point of having something come over you and you actually use those survival instincts. It's up to you now, your life is now in your hands. Remember, only the strong survive
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As an abuse survivor myself, I must say that it would be very smart to really listen to what others were trying to say regarding the abuse, because you really should leave. I can tell you that the abuse cycle is endless and vicious because it will never stop. If you don't get your mom out of there with you, your abuser will likely start abusing someone else in the household, such as your mom. When the victim is gone from the picture, abusers always target another victim, that's just how abusers are. If you read the book titled a child called it by Dave Peltzer, you'll see what I'm talking about. Abuse will only worsen, and you really should pack up you and your mom along with any children and animals living with you. My only bio sister was killed at the hands of our abusive parents, my mom took the fall for it. Yes, abuse only ends in death.

I can explain why sometimes victims don't leave.

From my own experience, fear actually plays a big role in why victims stay. I also noticed from my experience that when you live in an unfamiliar area, your abuser can keep you quarantined so that you can't leave. Quarantine and barricades keep victims from leaving. I'm in severe cases, the abuser will often deny or limit access to communication tools. Another thing that abusers tend to do is to limit or deny the victim's access to money and other basic necessities. Lack of money will keep the victim from getting a new place, and lack of food and water will make the victim too weak to even fight back. All of this is part of the control the abuser has over the victim because the victim's life is in the abuser's hands. If you are a victim and you lack the basic necessities for survival that will enable you to escape abuse, you will definitely be forced to be dependent upon your abuser for your very survival. This is exactly why many times victims won't leave, because sometimes they can't. It's one thing to be able to leave, another to be unable to leave due to lack of survival resources. Let's say you needed to escape from the house during the middle of winter, but your abuser has made sure that you don't have a coat or other basic necessities for going out into the cold. This will leave you housebound, especially if your abuser has made sure that you don't even have a car or access to one. Under these specific situations, you will find it much harder to escape an abusive situation. If you don't have a basic necessities for escaping abuse, you find yourself having to depend on your abuser for your own life
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Yeah but so much for my endeavours to be nice in 2016 day 6 and failed at least 5 times!
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Well said, Jude.
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sj94111 you have now changed your profile details. Your previous comments regarding your family setting clearly identified an utter lack of respect for your father and this is what caused GA to ask the questions as I would have done had I had a little more time this morning.

This familial setting is clearly not suiting you so you must seek help and leave. Then whatever he does he does and it won't get to you the way it clearly does now. If he is a pervert and has abused you report him to the police. I cannot understand why you choose to live with some like that, especially when you have degenerative disc disease.

To come on here and be rude to people, who are trying to make you see the reality, is not going to earn you further assistance. GA is absolutely right this scenario is not for you so you need to make plans to leave and I would suggest you put as much effort into that as you did in the response to GA and it might just get you somewhere

Out of here peeps and GA? I 100% support your comment
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Si94111Are you under the care of a mental healthcare specialist?
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Your response garden, I wrote the post, your words; Judging from the liberal criticism of your family in your post, I would have to question why you haven't worked toward getting out of that living situation and away from your father, for whom it seems you have no respect based on what your profile states. HUH? what
I do not respect my father never have, he is an abusive pervert, he does unspeakable things are you his pal? Wow cyber stalker....hmmmm yikes
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I care give for him but there is no money he claims, although he has two incomes, and I have one. Disability and medical expenses exceed my income, he DOES Nothing for ME ever. Other than refuse to allow heat when cold at night ,, never buys food when I run out of money, asks me to buy his food, expects me to buy his food and supplies. And take care of my mother. Who he is abandining, he has people who help him get away with hurting ME.. Dont worry he is well taken care of my mother is not, I am not.
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Im disabled have DDD, and loss of feeling in left leg, torn ACL oral surgical problems that require immediate attention, and never get it, NO money!
Liberal comments from who? my father has caregivers that are wanna be cops, brinks co workers he is 87 and can't see but still drives. has caused numerous car accidents and killed people but LIES. So make sure you find help for him
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Your father must not need a caregiver if he is still working. It sounds like your financial situation is keeping you there. If that is the case, you need to concentrate on changing the financial situation and find a place of your own. It sounds like there is no love or any type of caregiving going on in this uneasy arrangement.
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I'd live in my car before I'd live with an abuser. Leave
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Judging from the liberal criticism of your family in your post, I would have to question why you haven't worked toward getting out of that living situation and away from your father, for whom it seems you have no respect based on what your profile states.

This seems like a volatile situation and isn't going to change, so it's time to begin making plans to move out unless you want to be going through this trauma repeatedly.
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