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I had a very heated shouting match about it and have been suffering from depression and anxiety ever since. I am a sensitive person but in this case, I vehemently defended myself and now I can not seem to shake the PTSD of the situation. I feel I have done soooo much for my parent and had no idea that family members were actuallly, for years, mentally counting my parent's small inherentence. Instead of thanking me I was accused living of my parent-which could not be further from the truth. My parent would not have been able to stay in his home if it was not for me, or someone else to help. Thanks in advance for the responses.

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Been there. 3 brothers made terrible accusations against me. See my post. We had a court hearing in January 2017, still no ruling. I had documented everything and they proved nothing, but I won't rest until the verdict is stated. This has been more stressful than carrying for my parents for years and then watching them die. Good luck! Feel free to message me.
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My brothers would have a terrible time accusing me of spending my mother's money on myself. She has a good bit more now than when I moved in. Hmm... maybe I do need to let her spend more of her money since it will get split four ways when she passes.

The truth is that we don't really need much since she doesn't like to go out. I know the extra money will be handy if she has to go to a NH for any length of time.
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To make a point "in reverse" so to speak, my brother was living with Mom and when I discovered he was taking advantage of Mom's money, I tried to talk to my 3 siblings about it and although my sister believed me, the brothers did not. I said, "I will be HAPPY to mail you copies of all the documents to prove it. And if YOU want to take my place here as the one who is going to have to confront him, I would be most happy to turn that over to you".

The answer? "No, no, sis, that's ok".
Document, document, document...even if you end up on the other side of this type of situation.
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Dear Nantucket,

I'm very sorry to hear what you've gone through with your family and these false accusations. And the additional stress it has caused you. I think being a caregiver is one of the hardest roles to take on. As an adult child, it is also one of the most thankless ones as well.

I know its easier said than done, but don't let other family members tear you down. Try to remember you are doing something that no one else is willing to take on. I know money brings out the worst in all of us. And in some cases is truly the root of all evil.

My siblings underestimated how much work is involved in living with and caring for elderly parent. The daily demands can wear almost anyone down. Both my parents had a will. Try to take the high road and just cut them out. They are not being helpful at all. If they truly have concerns, they can go to Adult Protective Services but you shouldn't have to deal with them anymore.
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I've been very lucky. My brother passed away years ago and I am the only one taking care of my mom. So far nobody has accused me of stealing my mom's money.
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Yes, been there I was investigated by Adult Protective Services. Case was closed quite quickly
In fact the twisted sisters once they heard nothing funny was going on with the money, they refused to believe it. Two different pros told them there was nothing funny going on. They still didn't believe it. And one of the twisteds was mom's POA with access to her accounts and KNEW nothing was going on.

Oh, but then I did not tell twisteds about the money tree in the backyard either. LOL!

Document, document, document.
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A lot of family members think that a full-time live-in caregiving child is mooching off the parent. They don't realize the amount of work that is involved in taking care of an elder person. They don't understand the loss of freedom that goes with it. Tell your family member you will gladly change places with them. Grr.
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Yep. Told 'em to get an attorney. Haven't heard anything more from them.
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