Hi all, I am new here and desperate for answers or those in similar situations. I am an almost 27 year old college business student with a 1 1/2 year old daughter. Me and my partner live in a nice suburban home we rent but are in the end process of buying the home (exciting!) Now onto the problems.
My mother is an RN, shes smart and has been a nurse since her early 20s. Ever since me and my brother left our home after high school it is like my mom just started deteriorating mentally. She started buying things from goodwill and the dollar store selling them on amazon and ebay flipping prices. She eventually quit nursing to do this full time and eventually her house went into foreclosure, and she moved into a small apartment on Main St. The apartment was stacked to the ceiling with her hoarding issues. She hardly showered or anything, it was sad to even visit her. My brother then offered her to come live with them to help get her on her feet.
A week before I gave birth to my daughter my mom got in a car accident breaking her feel and heal. The day before my c section she had surgery to put plates and screws in her foot! Meanwhile all this is happening she was currently living with my brother and his fiance at the time. But they were legally evicting my mother from their home for reasons similar to what I am going through. Their relationship soured with her, so while I was 40 weeks pregnant I was toting my mother around to find apartments while she was on a knee scooter, and continued to help her with my brand new child. (after her moving out they eventually patched their relationship)
She lived in an apartment by herself for a year. Then when her lease was coming to an end she begged and pleaded to move in with me and my partner and child. I was very reluctant but she said she would help watch my daughter while I was doing school work, she would contribute to bills etc. So we both agreed to let her. It was in instant mistake.
She filled our garage with junk, our shed out back, and complained that she had the smallest room, and after agreeing to pay a certain amount of money said she was paying too much for what she had and lowered it even more. What she pays here wouldn't even get her a studio apartment in a shady part of the city and is $400 less than her apartment. We don't even ask for help for utilities. She has been fired from 4 jobs within 18 months and is currently unemployed. Out of the 9 months shes lived here she has given us maybe 4 months of what she was suppose to. She also never watches her granddaughter saying she "cant get anything done" when she watches her but then turns around and judges me and lectures me for not keeping up on certain housework when I work, go to school and watch my daughter. There is constant clutter everywhere she leaves around that I have asked her to please pick up. (Clutter triggers my anxiety, we keep a very clean home.) and she just laughs at that when I tell her.
She stays up for 24-36 hours and then just crashes. She is constantly just ripping us. Saying my boyfriend doesn't like her (when he has never said that or been mean to her) judges our appearance because we are tattooed, compares her parenting to ours, etc. I feel like I am walking on eggshells in my own home. Then she cries and says I treat her horribly and screams in front of my daughter cussing and acting erratic out of nowhere. I beg and plead please do not do this in front of my daughter and she doesn't listen.
I do not want to kick my mother out but I feel myself becoming very resentful of her and she is putting stress on me and my relationship. I believe I am going to give her 90 days to find somewhere to live. She is suppose to start a new job next week after being jobless for almost two months.
I would like to add my mom was wonderful growing up, she never let me or my brother go without. But its like I almost do not recognize her anymore. I just need some advice or support. Sorry if my post was scattered.